Great Relationships: 3 Really Dumb Mistakes and 3 Smarter Moves to Make
1) Think short term.
Many people enter marriage with the same mindset they have when buying a car. A car is designed with something called "planned obsolescence" in mind. You know that one day it will wear out and you will need to get another one. Entering marriage with this mindset just about guarantees failure.
Smarter move: Go into marriage with a strong sense of commitment. Not just to "stick it out." Commit to having the best possible marriage and to the growth of the other person.
2)Assume you already know all you need to know.
When I got married 10 years ago, I had a degree and license on my wall that said I was a marriage therapist. So I assumed I knew all I needed to know about how to have a good marriage. Boy, was I ever wrong.
I'm grateful I've learned a lot in the last 10 years. I hope my wife and clients are too. Think of it this way _ how successful would you be on your current job if you assumed you knew all you needed to know and were resistant to learning or changing? Your job would not be a great place. The same applies to marriage.
Smarter move: Never in the history of couplehood has there been greater access to information about marriage, men, women, relationships, communication, and how to love someone. Read a book, hire a coach, go to a seminar, take advantage of all the help that is out there.
3) Turn every issue into a battle for control.
This one is really dumb and very, very common. I have actually had couples in my office - I'm not making this up - fighting over the proper way to hang the toilet paper. It's almost as if there is a scorecard somewhere, perhaps on the fridge, keeping track of who wins the most battles. My question is, what is it that you win?
Smarter move: Pick your battles. Instead of fighting for my way at all costs, work hard and creatively for designing "our way" of doing things.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more tips and tools for a great relationship, including a free 10 day e-program on improving your relationship today.
Clues to Help You Bust the Undercover Married Man, Before You Fall in Love
If your Knight in shining armor still hasn't come galloping, don't worry. The right one will soon come through. Don't be in a rush and run the risk of ending up in the hands of the wrong man ? an undercover single man, the fake bachelor ? a married man.
Relationship Advice: A Tip from Monica and Chandler of Friends
If you are looking for it, you can find relationship advice and wisdom in all kinds of places.
When A Relationship Goes Bad
What do you do when a long term relationship goes bad? How do you pick up the pieces and get on with your life? It is very simple for someone to tell you that you should just forget about the person you once loved and find someone new.
Love is Not Supposed to Hurt
Questions and Answers:
You Dont Have to Break Down, When You Break Up!
Very few people would argue with the fact that creating successful relationships is often one of the biggest challenges we face as human beings. The strange thing is that life can become even more challenging when they end. But is it really necessary to break down when you break up?
Communication in Dating
Does your dating relationship have good communication? Communication during dating is what will eventually make or break the dating relationship. If you can not talk or communicate with your loved one, how will they ever know what you expect from your dating relationship?
Whats The Attraction?
Why do people have affairs? Why not do the 'right' thing and leave a marriage first if one is inclined to step out of it? The reasons are as varied as the people involved. Public perception of infidelity is someone with a sexual overdrive and their pants around their ankles, and while that may be true in some cases, it's not as common a reason as one would think. The following are just a few of the reasons for staying in a marriage and having extracurricular activities.
Soul Mates - Do They Really Exist?
Throughout centuries, story tellers, and people from different background and cultures always refer to their fascination in meeting one day their soul mates. Is Soul Mate a myth? Do they really exist? Or is Soul Mate a figment of our own imagination that can help keep our hope for a perfect relationship and keep our hope alive. Or is it an escape way for not handling or not looking at ourselves in such a way that we keep delaying our responsibilities and things can be fixed when we meet that perfect relationship with those Soul Mates. Everything is possible! It is up to you and me to decide the bottom line of this puzzle.
Finding a Life Partner
9 Myths About Being Single
More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals. The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47.2% of adults will be unmarried. Being single does not mean being alone, nor does being in a couple for the holidays ensure happiness. Let's dispel some myths!
What Does a Dangerous Man Look Like?
When you are dating you try to keep from a dangerous man. What do they look like? Why is when you are dating people that some guys just manage to slip through the cracks before revealing their true colors? What are they looking for in a woman? What can you do to protect yourself from a dangerous man?
What Men Want From Women
Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every man is a secret wish to be trusted. How many times have men said to their wives, "If you would just trust me." Many men wonder why it seems so difficult for their wives to do something so seemingly simple. The answer stems from the physiological differences between the sexes.
Pen Pal Romance
We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at war. They exchanged a few pictures and spent countless hours drafting letters back and forth, baring their hearts and souls to each other. Without ever dating, they fell in love. When one could eventually travel across the distance to finally meet the other, they both knew immediately that this was indeed the one they'd spend the rest of their life with. The physical attraction was every bit as strong as the emotional attraction they had felt for each other. It's a classic story that's existed as long as there's been a postal system for delivering the letters between would be lovers.
Denial Is Not A River In Egypt
Original it ain't, but it still merits repetition: "Denial is not a river in Egypt". What it is, is a highly addictive behaviour.
Love and Life Lessons
Recent events in my life have taught me that the best thing to do in any situation is just to love people. How can I be a better friend, a better Son, Brother or Sister,etc. So often we go through life and we don't really take the time to just simply love people.
Relationship Arguments - 7 Ways to Heal Past Hurts
Q: I've read that you are never supposed to bring up the past in a relationship, especially in an argument. But, sometimes it just feels like I have to bring it up with my husband. When is it OK to bring up the past?
10 Reasons Why Married Couples Grow Apart (Part I)
When asked why their marriage is on the rocks, many couples often state that they have just grown apart. The reality of that statement just means the individuals no longer relate to or appreciate each other as they once did. This damage often occurs over a period of months or years and it is not even realized until it becomes a serious issue, which often escalates the marital problems even further.
Want To Strengthen Your Relationship
Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk ? say what's on your mind. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder will not strengthen your relationship. It will only create more distance between you and your mate. If you can't find the right words to say, write a letter. You may think that not saying something will make the issue or problem go away ? it won't. What it will do is build resentment towards your mate and open up the door for other problems to crawl in.
If He Insists That You Work...
Once, when asked about her life, former First Lady Barbara Bush said, "I married well."
The Healing Power of Forgiveness
People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness issues in their lives. When we hold negativity in our energy field, inevitably it expresses itself as physical disharmony or bad health. Forgiveness is the major way that humans can release negativity or cleanse it from their energy fields.
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