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A Bad Hairdresser Day
"Hey everybody!" Hairdresser Lady called out. "Its The Happy Guy."
"Dont try buttering me up, Hairdresser Lady," I warned. "Its not going to work."
"Whats not going to work" she demanded.
"You cant cover up your gross incompetence with a Hey everybody cheer."
"Thats right. Just look at my head. Go ahead, take a real close look."
"Why, its a family of sparrows. What a lovely nest," she grinned.
"No, over here."
"My, my. If it isnt a bald spot," she giggled. "Should I give it a shine"
"Thats just what I mean, Hairdresser Lady. Ever since Ive been coming to you this past couple years, Ive been losing hair. What have you been doing to it"
"Er, nothing. Just a little growth formula."
"Growth! My hair isnt growing. Its falling out."
"The growth formula is not for your hair, silly. Its for your scalp," Hairdresser Lady responded.
"Growth formula for my scalp"
"To make you look taller," Hairdresser Lady explained. "You do look kind of short, you know."
"How will growth formula on my scalp make me look taller"
"Just look in the mirror. Already your head is starting to stick up out of your hair," Hairdresser Lady pointed out. "You look taller already."
She was right. I did look taller. "That stuff really works"
"It works wonders on my petunias," Hairdresser Lady asserted.
Saaaaay, wait a minute. Thats not a growing scalp. Thats a receding hairline! "I dont believe it. You are NOT putting growth formula on my scalp. I am just losing my hair."
By this time, Hairdresser Lady was rolling on the floor with laughter. And I still had no idea what she was doing to make my hair fall out.
"Ill bet this is a secret trick to reduce your workload. The more hair falls out, the less you have to cut."
"Less hair to cut, but more face to wash," she chirped as she dunked my head under water. Deep under water. "Actually, you dont look too bad. Your hair is just getting thin here and there, and you have a lot more vacant real estate above your eyes. But most of your hair is clinging on...for now."
It was that last "for now" that sent shivers down my spine. Already I could see how much hair I had lost since she became my hairdresser. What diabolical anti-hair plot could she be preparing to unleash upon my head I feared all my questions would soon be answered when she brought a new tray to the counter in front of me.
"Whats all that stuff I demanded.
"These are your new hairdressing supplies: tar, a very large black brush, and a cheese grater," she smiled as she opened the tar lid.
"Whats in that" I was panicking.
"Dont worry," Hairdresser Lady whispered. "Nobody will know that its not really...hair."
I lunged toward the exit. As the door swung closed behind me, I heard her call out, "Dont you even want to know what the cheese grater is for"
Looking back, the whole situation seems ludicrous. My hair was not falling out because of Hairdresser Lady. It was falling out because of middle age. After all, they didnt have hairdressers in the Middle Ages.
Yesterday, my wife asked me when I last got my hair cut. I told her it had been a while. "Why do you ask"
"Because," she puzzled. "Your hair seems to be growing quite long."
I think I shocked her when I began jumping up and down, shouting, "Yes. It works. Yes. Yes. Yes. No more hairdressers! No miracle petunias! No growing scalps!"
Still, every now and then, I wonder -- just what was the cheese grater for.
Do You Make Less Money Than Your Taller Peers
A recent study at the University of Florida found that over the span of their careers short people earn less money than their taller counterparts. In terms of cold hard cash, each extra inch in height equals roughly $800 difference in annual pay. So, essentially a person standing at 5 ft 8 inches tall will make about $9600 less annually than someone standing at 6 ft 8 inches tall.
Internet : A Medium or a Message
The State of the Net
Jobseekers! Look For Smoke, Not Fire...
"If you always do what youve always done, you will always get what youve always received,” said some wise person. This is certainly true when it comes to job-hunting, especially during a "sucky" economy. How many times have you applied to a job on Monster.com Now ask yourself, "How many other people have applied for the same position" The numbers are discouraging I assure you. Should this keep you from applying to jobs online By no means, job boards are a necessary part of the process. However, if you limit your jobsearch to seeking only those jobs that you are qualified for then you are making a mistake. Am I suggesting that you do a "shotgun" effect with your resume and apply to as many jobs as you can hoping that by some miraculous twist of fate you catch a recruiters eye No... and yes, in a way.
Retirement or Financial Freedom
In the past most people never retired. They died. The average life expectancy was much less than it is these days, and there were no financial planners around to help people save up enough to quit work. As recently as the 1960’s, if you did manage to save up enough money to retire, you’d be lucky to live another 5 or 6 years before you kicked the bucket. This made financial planning for retirement a little easier because you really only needed enough income for a few years.
Find a Job in a Fast Growing Field Using Labor Market Information For Your State
The question confronting most people who want to find a job is "whats a good paying job with growth potential"
“Where is America headed to”, New York Millionaire wonders…
Hello! Happy new year. May you live a long healthy life and prosper.
Negotiating the Real Estate Contract
Negotiation is the process of communication back and forth in order to reach a joint agreement. There is no "one size fits all" strategy of negotiating a real estate contract. Many of our clients have been very experienced negotiators, and we have learned a great deal from them, as well as from books on the subject. We would like to share some of our thoughts on negotiating with you:
Parenting and Running a Home-Based Business
An Ann Landers column "Parenthood is not a job for the weak at heart" caught my interest.
Making Freelance Writing Niche Types Fit
Our Freelance Writing Needs Defined
Comprehending a Credit Report
Obtaining a credit report is an excellent way to begin taking control of your financial future. Its recommended that you review your credit report once a year, not only to be aware of your standing with creditors but to also keep abreast of errors and fraud. However, once your report arrives you may have trouble making sense of it. How are you to read and understand a credit report
Writing a Press Release
When dealing with "this-just-in" type information, it is important to understand how to write a head-turning press release. A press release must contain substantial information that you consider to be newsworthy and substantial. Relate the news to the audience. Spell out for them WHY it is newsworthy and why they should read on. First describe your news, and THEN tell who said it, etc. Remember that the first ten words in your press release are the attention-getters, thus should be effective. Use what journalists refer to as plain-style language, not fancy words or lots of adjectives. Stick to the facts; avoid fluff. Provide plenty of contact information the name, phone numbers, fax etc. for the person with the most information about the story to make it as easy as possible for the media to do their job!
Working With Your Real Estate Attorney
Purchasing or selling a home will probably be one of your largest and most important financial transactions.Before signing a contract to purchase or sell a home, both buyer and seller should consult an attorney to assure that the real estate transaction will be handled legally and professionally.
Tax Assessment/Appraisal: How Do I Know What My Home is Worth
If you are in the home buying or selling market, it’s important to understand the difference between tax assessment and appraisal value. Concentrate on the appraisal value because this determines your asking price.
Real Estate Professionals Need You to Write for Them!
Ask yourself these questions:Are you an experienced writerDo you want to stay at home to writeDo you want to work for yourselfDo you learn new things quicklyAre you interested in a broad number of subjectsDo you feel like you’re being pigeonholed with your current writing and you want to branch outDo you have a flair for marketing
Finding Your Niche
Have you found your niche
What The Most Dangerous Job In The World Taught Me About Coping With Stress
I just got through reading some troubling news in the New York Times this morning.
Comparing The True Cost Of Obtaining A Home Loan
Home buyers are often confused about where to begin in their search for a home loan.The process is usually narrowed down to finding which institutions provide the lowest settlement costs, but the different types of lending institutions and the variety of lending programs available can make the search a slow, difficult experience.
High-income Earners Consider Renting Chic Again
Over the past two years, households that earned $50,000 or more annually and had the means to join the ranks of home owners or continue owning the roofs over their heads represented the fastest growing segment of the rental market, according to the National Multi-Housing Council.
A Time-Saving Programming Tactic that Doesn’t Work
Let’s say that you have a software project that’s under severe time pressure.Let’s say that this deadline is so tight that you already know it will involve many late nights of black coffee and frenetic programming.What can you do to make this process go faster
Wealth And Your Net Worth
Wealth and Your Net Worth by C.C. Collins http://networthpublishing.com
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