30 Ways to be a Butt-Head Boss
1. Trust no one. Not your superiors and not your employees. Especially not your employees. They’re probably out to get you anyway.
2. Believe that all of your people are lazy, good-for-nothing slackers. Remind them of that frequently.
3. Get mad and shout a lot. This will reinforce to your “workers” that you mean business.
4. Never grant special favors. Having babies, being sick, taking time off to go to weddings, funerals or 50th anniversaries are just ways to get out of work. Don’t let them get away with it.
5. Try not to make decisions. Decisions will only give your boss a reason to fire you. If a decision is absolutely necessary, try to postpone it as long as possible.
6. Do not tolerate errors. Of any kind or any size. Even the smallest of errors just reinforces the fact that your people are screw-ups. Fire people for minor infractions.
7. Criticize. Never be satisfied with any of your employees’ work products. If they were trying at all, they would be doing better.
8. Refuse to listen to suggestions. Your subordinates are just trying to get you to do something that will get you into trouble. They don’t have the sense god gave a goose anyway. Your way is the right way.
9. Complain to various employees how bad the others are. Try to get them on your side so they’ll group together and force the really worthless people to leave.
10. Change your mind often. About everything – policies, procedures, work assignments. Don’t let your employees become complacent with the way things are.
11. Come into work late and leave early. Take long lunches. Show your people that you’re the boss and can do whatever you want.
12. Prohibit office celebrations and parties. No birthdays, no holiday parties or decorating, no nothing. This is no place to be goofing off. There is work to do.
13. Never praise your people. They’ll just expect more of it. Besides, no one ever does anything that’s worth recognizing anyway.
14. Never tell any of your employees exactly what you do. They’ll use it against you.
15. Refuse to discuss the status of the company with any of your employees. Finances and future plans are none of their business. They need to focus on just their jobs.
16. Do not train your employees. Give them only the minimum information they need to do their jobs. Let them prove themselves by figuring out the details.
17. Definitely do not cross-train your people. That will only cause them to get big-headed about how much they know. Don’t give them a reason to complain about their miserable wages.
18. Give the easy jobs to the employees who always agree with you. They’ve earned it.
19. Give the really cushy jobs to the really “friendly” people – the cutest or best looking ones who aren’t afraid to show just how friendly they are. Being a boss is tough. You deserve your perks.
20. Petty cash is your discretionary lunch money. Enjoy it.
21. Cut company expenses by firing whoever you want. Demand increases in productivity from those remaining. Maybe they will eventually get the idea that they need to get to work.
22. Never show your people that you care about them. It would make you look weak and erode your status as a boss.
23. Display your power. Sit behind a big desk. Make sure all the other chairs in your office are much lower than yours.
24. Never go to employees’ work stations to discuss anything – unless you need to chew them out. You’re much too important to leave your office. Make them come to you.
25. Use meetings to intimidate your employees. Be loud, be forceful, pound the table – show them who’s boss.
26. Do not accept the blame for anything. When your people screw up, it’s completely their fault. Never yours.
27. Take full credit for everything good that happens in your group. None of your employees are smart enough to have done it by themselves.
28. Never, ever make your own coffee. You’re much too important to spend your time doing that.
29. Tell your employees that you’re reading ALL e-mails whether you do or not. Do not permit them to make personal phone calls for any reason. Make sure they know that you are watching their every move. You can’t trust any of them.
30. Never, never, never give any of your people access to the Internet. They’ll just waste their time accessing porn sites or maybe even self-improvement sites like NuPathz.com.
101 Gift Ideas For All Occasions
People have forgotton about the meaning behind gifting, in a consumer driven society we are often pushed towards competing e.g. upstaing gifts and my gifts better than yours. Lets go back to basics, giving is far more rewarding then receiving its much better for your Karma. If someone gives you a list ignore it, the only time a list is applicable is for Weddings where this is a tradition. Gifting is all about imagination, and a little thinking time. For big events like Christmas buy people things they would never buy themselves.
What Can Roses Do For You Today
In the past millennium, it has been ordinary to see roses and their depictions being one and the same as attractiveness and grace. This is evidenced in writings as far back as Shakespeare and probably further, demonstrating that roses have long been known as attractive and elegant. Obviously, the modern economy and most of todays business world has caught up with this notion, and has appealed to the concept of roses being the essence of loveliness, and often, even brought about this conviction. While this is not completely improper, roses have obviously become exceedingly pricey in the past few years. Florists have come into the market, and on a few holidays especially conceived for the sole purpose of exchanging greeting cards and roses, florists are able to pull in at least $75 for a dozen or so roses. Roses, while not cheap, have become a necessity for formal events and nice occasions; weddings being the best example of such. So what is the answer What is the cheapest way to get roses for a formal event Rose petals just might be the answer.
Guide to a Growing Trend: The "Green" or Ecological Wedding
Does it seem like the phrases "ecology" and "wedding" could hardly have less in common
"Fruit Baskets" the most Unique Incredible Edible Gift Of All !
Fruity Fresh Fruit Baskets Or Fruit gift baskets is the oldest traditional gift which still today is considered unique and one of the most overwhelming edible gifts of all .
Caribbean Getaways: When to Go
Considering a romantic getaway, honeymoon or destination wedding in the Caribbean After selecting your island, the question most on your mind is when to travel.
Choosing The Right Music For Your Wedding
Packing for Your Destination Wedding
Are you planning a destination wedding Congratulations! Before you head off to your dream wedding and honeymoon, dont forget the packing for the wedding itself. Much will depend on where youre having your wedding and your own personal style.
Calls-To-Action: Making Them Fit Makes All the Difference
It was going so well, so what happened Many copywriters get off to a wonderful start: The headline is compelling, the body copy is benefit-filled, but then comes the call-to-action and the whole thing falls apart. Why It could be a dozen different reasons, but one of the most common I’ve seen is that the call-to-action doesn’t fit the target audience.
Can I Have Your Autograph
Being a celebrity means dealing with fan demands for autographs, ranging from polite and appropriate to rude and overbearing. One time Katherine Hepburn was performing on Broadway and tried to exit backstage through a crowd of jostling autograph hounds. Bodyguards helped her to her limo and once safely inside the very private star rolled down the window and shouted," Run em down! Well clean up the blood later!" The crowd scattered and the limousine sped away, pausing long enough for Hepburn to roll down the window and wave goodbye to her fans, accompanied by an evil laugh. Strangely enough, when she lived in Beverly Hills the seclusion loving Hepburn developed the habit of sneaking into her neighbors houses as a hobby. She became expert at climbing trees, avoiding alarms and dogs, and revealing herself just before her nervous neighbors called the police.
Is Your Site a One Trick Pony
Don’t know about you but I really look forward to watching The Apprentice on TV each week. Because it almost always offers a lesson in online marketing.
A New Way to Use Old Snapshots
If youre like me, you have hundreds of photographs sitting in envelopes. Pictures from birthday parties, weddings, family gatherings, anniversaries, the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas. You have already put the best snapshots into albums and these are leftovers. You dont want to throw them away, but you also dont know what to do with them.
Choosing a Wedding Date – When Youre Feeling Indecisive
He – or she – asked, and you answered. Nows the time to bask in the romance, and enjoy the first phase of your new life together. But soon, youll need a response for that timeless question: "whens the wedding"
Spotlight on the Asian-Themed Wedding
Asian-themed weddings are on the rise, and at first this might come as a surprise. After all, nothing could seem further from the Laura Ashley vision we get when thinking of a wedding.
Seven Tips for Choosing a Maid of Honor
Choosing your Maid of Honor is more complicated than it looks. Nowhere else in your wedding planning is it easier for vexing problems to turn up! Why Because the Maid of Honor’s duties are often vaguely defined, and worse, poorly communicated.
Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle
By now, surely everyones familiar with the unity candle, but did you know there are other unification ceremonies to choose from when planning your wedding
Fortune 500 Budgeting For Our Personal Lives
January and February are traditionally busy months in the financial industry as many New Years resolutions typically include the goal of becoming debt free or saving for a major purchase. While many of our clients understand the importance of getting professional help when managing their business bookkeeping, only a few think to ask for our services in managing their personal finances.
Hotels Hotels Hotels...which one do I choose!
Hotels in Las Vegas furnish a guest with the excitement, amenities and appeal of this wonderful destination. Everyone has heard of Circus Circus. Its appealing restaurants, theme parks, shops, gaming and the worlds greatest circus acts guarantees good fun for everyone. Best of all, it continues to be the value leader on the Las Vegas Strip. The possibilities are unlimited in where to stay, when you play in Las Vegas! Some things to consider when selecting a hotel are its amenities, restaurants, attractions and more. Check out the casinos for games, dining and entertainment.
The Monogram Theme Wedding
Monograms are a huge trend in weddings, to the point where they feature strongly in some, and in others, provide the actual theme. And what’s not to like about monograms They’re elegant, understated, versatile, and a dramatic visual reminder of your new life together.
Wedding Photography: Preserving the Memories
A person’s wedding can be one of the most important times in their life. They will have memories that they want to treasure forever and then pass on to their children. Wedding photography helps them do this. Having pictures taken at the wedding and then at the reception can capture those precious memories in freeze-frame and help you keep them forever.
The Cultural Narcissist - Lasch In An Age Of Diminishing Expectations
"The new narcissist is haunted not by guilt but by anxiety. He seeks not to inflict his own certainties on others but to find a meaning in life. Liberated from the superstitions of the past, he doubts even the reality of his own existence. Superficially relaxed and tolerant, he finds little use for dogmas of racial and ethnic purity but at the same time forfeits the security of group loyalties and regards everyone as a rival for the favors conferred by a paternalistic state. His sexual attitudes are permissive rather than puritanical, even though his emancipation from ancient taboos brings him no sexual peace. Fiercely competitive in his demand for approval and acclaim, he distrusts competition because he associates it unconsciously with an unbridled urge to destroy. Hence he repudiates the competitive ideologies that flourished at an earlier stage of capitalist development and distrusts even their limited expression in sports and games. He extols cooperation and teamwork while harboring deeply antisocial impulses. He praises respect for rules and regulations in the secret belief that they do not apply to himself. Acquisitive in the sense that his cravings have no limits, he does not accumulate goods and provisions against the future, in the manner of the acquisitive individualist of nineteenth-century political economy, but demands immediate gratification and lives in a state of restless, perpetually unsatisfied desire."
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