|Positive Attitude Tips & Information|
So What Is A Limiting Belief?
So what is a limiting belief?
Don't you love the current expression: 'does what it says on the can'. The can is, of course, purely metaphorical and 'does what it says' suggests clarity and ultimate intelligibility.
A limiting belief, obviously, does exactly what it says on the can: it holds people back in any and every area of their life. Perfectly clear ? or is it?
In fact, the potential problem lies in the underlying assumption that the limiting beliefs sufferer actually believes they have any real and unique value, gifts and qualities. Often they don't. That's the nature of a limiting belief.
Women who have endured the brainwashing of an abusive relationship don't feel they are blessed with value, gifts and qualities. Understandably, they tend not to feel blessed at all. Even if they know, with their head, that they have certainly abilities; even if friends, family and colleagues corroborate this, they don't really believe it. It has no bearing on their emotional world.
"Yes, but?" they'll say; or, "it doesn't make me feel better about myself", or other words to that effect. They can't feel any pleasure in the good that others see in them, because they simply don't believe it. The only communications they can truly receive are on the frequency of the negative beliefs that they hold about themselves.
It's an agonising place to be, as well as endlessly frustrating for the people who try to support them.
Working with other women's limiting beliefs recently took me back to my first experience of coaching?
At first when the core question: "What's holding you back?" came up: I couldn't even formulate an answer.
I thought I was doing pretty well when I eventually came up with an answer and proudly offered it to my first coach: what was holding me back, I said, was me.
Awareness has to start somewhere, I guess. As I now see it, I was both right and wrong. What was holding me back was me ? inasmuch as it was not anyone else
But, equally, what was holding me back it was not me.
You see, we are not our self-limiting beliefs and our self-limiting beliefs are not who we are. Not at all. They are, at most, a distorting, fairground mirror, in which we glimpse a grotesque distortion of ourselves.
I know this with my head because I've learned it somewhere along my own (ongoing) journey. I believe it with my whole being because I see it in the women I work with.
They may experience themselves as a human black hole. Regardless of what goes into them, nothing unconditionally good will ever come out from them. Or so they believe. They feel condemned to sit forever on the sidelines, watching the great game of life without ever becoming full participants.
They are like hungry, urchins, whose nose is forever pressed against the window, They can see other people seated at the banquet of life and they know, they just know that they'll never participate in that feast.
Now, that knowledge is false. They have no way of predicting the future. Their view of their world is simply darkened by a self-limiting belief that appears to have all the trappings of reality. So they struggle, futilely, with a vision of the future that is crude, pessimistic, and false. That vision that crushes them daily.
And yet, as soon as they turn their focus away from themselves, they are perceptive, creative, supportive, nurturing, dynamic, multi-talented, energetic. Those qualities, and many more, are who they truly are.
Anyone who survives an abusive relationship has actually dug very deep and unearthed enormous personal resources and riches.
For as long as they continue to regard themselves through the filter of self-limiting beliefs they may well remain deaf, blind and numb to their own personal treasure. But their treasure will continue to grow and the day will come when they are able to claim it and rejoice in it.
How long will the process take? That depends. If you listen to your limiting beliefs, it'll make the seven labours of Hercules pale into insignificance.
But if you start to challenge them, if you start to ask yourself ? or better still, get someone else to ask you: 'Is it always that way?', 'Do you never??' , 'How do you know what the future holds? Do you have special gifts?' then you'll start to get some new answers and some new realizations.
You'll find that your limiting beliefs will start to fall by the wayside. You'll be surprised by how much faster you can move forward without them. And you'll be amazed to discover just how special and valuable you truly are.
(C) Annie Kaszina 2005
An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie helps women to create strong boundaries, so they can learn to build healthy, nurturing relationships where they can give and receive the love they want, safely.
Email:email@example.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com
The Difference Between the Curmudgeons and the Serene
Have you ever noticed how many unhappy people there are in this world of ours? Almost every time I venture out I come in contact with them. You see them in the stores, the market, on the roads ~ everywhere. They are the ones who don't seem to know how to look pleasant. Their faces are scrunched up in ugly frowns, they sigh and grumble a lot. They're rude to store clerks and restaurant servers. They honk their horns if traffic doesn't move fast enough to suit them. They let the door slam in your face as you enter a store. They yell at their children and lose their tempers if they are made to wait.
All In The Mind
"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take it" -Alvin Poh
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If you suffer with or have in the past suffered with anxiety and panic disorder, then you certainly know what its like to be swallowed up by your negative thoughts and feelings.
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The Power of Negative Thinking
For some reason, most people find it easier to think in a negative way than in a positive manner. It seems that some effort is needed to think positive thoughts, whereas negative thinking comes easily and uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in.
Did you know that our thoughts may be influencing our reality and lives? Have you ever seen a movie called 'What the Bleep Do We Know!?'.
Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life
If we are the products of our attitudes then it is important for us to examine our attitudes, both positive and negative, to discover the impact they are having on our lives. This is even more important if we are determined to maximize the potential that is ours, a potential which, in the vast majority of us, remains grossly underdeveloped.
Get Out of Jail Free: How to Identify Unconscious Beliefs
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Being a mom can take a toll on your body, your mind, and your soul. I know I am a mom to 3 wonderful but hyper boys ages 11, 9 and 3 and there are days where I really need to take a break from everything that goes on around me.
Change Your Attitude from a Whiner to a Winner
Who are the Whiners? Whiners are the people who always seem to have those hard-luck stories whether it pertains to their relationships, money, or health. You'll notice that even if they resolve one of their frustrating issues, they will immediately have another one to take its place. Are they really having a bad life, or just a bad attitude?
Scented, Spiritual Waters
Water is an important tool for magic rituals in many religions and spiritual beliefs. Although it sounds redundant, most cults, sects or spiritual beliefs use it to represent the cosmic element of water for purifying, scrying, and even starting wars. Considering that most of the time H20 is not the only element a spirit seeker needs, the water may go through a bit of a special transformation that requires flowers, herbs, sticks, and other natural resources to become colognes/perfumes or spiritual waters.
Positive Mental Attitude
Look at this glass on the table in front of you. Is it half-full or is it half-empty?
Keep Your Cool
Know your limits. Accept what you can't change and let go of things out of your control. Ease your tension. Take a walk; listen to music, splash cold water on your face. Earn small rewards when you make the choice not to become angry. Phone a friend. It helps to share your concerns and talk things out.
Change Your Thoughts And Your Life: 5 Simple Ways To Bring More Peace And Harmony To Your Life
When you change your thoughts, you change your life. The fastest way to achieve peace and harmony is to change your thinking. In order to change your outer world you must first change your inner world. Your thoughts dictate your behavior, and when you change your thought patterns, you will be changing your behavioral patterns as well. Altering your behavior will change the course of your life. Here are 5 simple ways to achieve peace and harmony.
Magic Mirror Exercise
Good morning I love you.
Use Affirmations to Build Self-Esteem
Most of us carry on a running internal dialogue at all times. It is as if our lives are a sporting event on television and there is a panel of psychic sports commentators hunched over their microphones doing a play-by-play of the action.
Affirmations to Improve Your Life
An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a way to change your way of thinking. You can use affirmations to improve performance and results in all areas of your life. The "positive action" self-talk of specific affirmations is beneficial to achieving desired outcomes.
How to Deal with Discouragement and Develop Exceptional People Skills
Ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so discouraged that even one more day of frustration will be too much to handle?
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No one becomes successful by accident. Motivational speaker Les Brown advises, "You must see your goals clearly and specifically before you can set out for them. Hold them in your mind until they become second nature." Certainly, visualization is an essential element of achieving success.
Overcoming Seductive Sadness
Unhappy moods can be like comfortable sweaters, those old ones: familiar, worn and with the right kind of smell. When we're in a sad place, or actually with any dissatisfied feelings, we want that comfy sweater. We actually can feel really safe wearing it. It's dark and cozy. Choosing to feel the full feeling of those emotions are powerful. In some way wrapping that sweater tight, we are powerful.
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