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Coaching Information
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Control, Helplessness, and Love During my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and business partners, I have discovered that an important purpose of our controlling behavior in our relationships is to avoid the feeling of helplessness. One of the hardest feelings to feel is helplessness. Most of us are unwilling to even know what we are and are not helpless over. Our controlling behavior toward others generally comes from our unwillingness to accept our helplessness over others' feelings and behavior. We do not want to know that we are helpless over whether another chooses to be loving and accepting toward us or judgmental and rejecting toward us. A Sure-Fire, 10-Step Formula To Get Started As A Coach Or Consultant "My guess is first I'll need some zippy flyers and a tri-fold brochure" said an email from Matt last week. Sadly, he is not the only one thinking that the first step to building a professional business is printing fliers and brochures. After all, that's what everyone does, right? And it seems like a logical place to start, doesn't it? After July 8, Pay This Amount You undoubtedly go through this, too. A few times a month you gather up the bills coming due and write checks or pay them online. How Does Sports Coaching Differ from Corporate Coaching? Athletes Versus Employees Leadership Coaching ? Easier Said Than done Recently at a Pharmaceutical meeting in Europe, one of the presenters shared the results of a recent study that demonstrated that Managers who were trained in Eight Step Coaching Skills were out selling DM's who were not trained in the program. This quantitative data seems to support that the cornerstone of success lies in effective leadership coaching and diagnosing the needs of the Representatives. However, it is not simply a matter of being trained. Managers must overcome day to day hurdles to be an effective coach. It takes a knowledge of the skills plus the courage to open up sensitive and important topics with others. It takes time, a precious commodity in a DM's week. It takes self-control over our emotions when someone doesn't measure up on an important mission that we, as Managers care about. When we coach, we run a risk of opening up conflict, differences, and misunderstandings that can create discomfort. In short, "coaching is easier said than done." But the results will be worth it if we are consistent and rigorous at using coaching skills. A Small Piece Of Carpet Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about yourself sometimes depends on whether or not you get confirmation of your value from others? When you enter into challenging situations with a positive self identity you will discover that you are living your life with a greater sense of enjoyment and fulfillment. Are You A Work Addict? Work addiction is very common in our society today, yet it is not one that is not highly recognised. New Definition of Retirement A new definition of retirement is evolving. It's one that's focused on continual exploration, learning and growth. Where the old retirement promised no pressure and stress but left you with no personal growth, no stimulating interaction and no sense of achievement, the new retirement promises life meaning, personal fulfillment, and realization of long-held dreams and 'fun'. It's a time for discovery not felt since youth. What do you dream about? Is it owning a dream home at the lake? Or maybe starting your own business? How about going back to college or taking tree planting lessons? You might spend time with a loved one, help people who are less fortunate, or travel. Negotiating Difficult Life Transitions Life is a process of beginnings and endings. In both life and nature, there are times when things move slowly and don't seem to change very much. Then, suddenly, things change quickly. Moving from August to September, the weather changes gradually at first, and then it seems that suddenly summer is over. It is the same in our lives; transitions are as natural as the changing seasons. Discover The Coach Within You One of the three basic roles of leadership is the coach or mentor. The best boss is often the best coach. (See: http://tlc-leadership.com/the_three_faces_of_leadership). In sports the coach is very conscious of his role but in the business world most coaching is unconscious or even accidental. Recreating Yourself So it's time for a change. You've taken that hard look in the mirror and you've decided that who you are is not who you want to be. Or perhaps you're standing at a fork in the road and where you'd like to go requires that you make some changes. Maybe you're just really bored with your life as you've been in that same old rut for so long that you just want to scream if you spend another day doing the same amazingly boring things all over again. The reasons for change are as varied as the people making the decision to do so. The only thing you have to remember is that the change must come from you, not from someone else. And it can't be a gift to someone else, it won't work. Ultimately, recreating ourselves is a very personal choice and a very personal decision that others really can't help us with. What Are Your Priorities? "The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." -Ben Stein Can I Be My Own ADD Coach? Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss acting as an ADD Coach for their child or spouse. While supporting and helping loved ones with ADD is a great idea, acting as an ADD Coach really isn't a great idea. There is just way too much emotion involved and an ADD Coach needs to be far enough removed from the situation to be an effective ADD Coach. Assertive Communication: 20 Helpful Tips Most of us know that assertiveness will get you further in life than being passive or aggressive. But few of us were actually taught how to be assertive. Here are some helpful tips. The Right Time and Place (Channelled) What Do You Really Want ? Being a coach is such a rewarding profession. The enormous impact you have on other people's lives always astounds me. Lovers Remorse Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 29, 2002 Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and I replaced 26 feet of fence on my property. I must say, for a couple of non-handyman-sorts like the two of us, it is a very well done fence. How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have, and most of them reside in the past. So you may ask, why should I let go of my past when much of it is filled with beautiful memories and serenity? A Quick Checklist for Improving Your Life 1. Learn About You
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