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TimepiecesWayne and Tamara Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 2, 2003 I am a father of three teenagers. The older boy and girl are obedient, good at their studies, and helpful around the home. My problem is with my youngest daughter, who is 16. Wayne and Tamara, she is a beautiful child, and I know she is popular with her youthful friends. But I have been insisting that she obey the rules of my home and also take her studies seriously. I have a good job, and I spend most of my money on my children. I also give them weekly allowances, most of which I insist that they save. I ensure they are fed and clothed properly. Recently I had to ground my last daughter because of her rebellious and disrespectful attitude. I lost my temper and slapped her. She screamed that she will run away from home, and I will be sorry. Wayne and Tamara, as a loving father that threat scared me. Do you think I have been too harsh or overly strict with her Gene Gene, four years ago you were much as you are now. Four years ago your daughter was a child of 12, and four years from now she will be a woman of 20. For you, the clock is racing forward; for a 16-year-old who wants to act 18 or 20, the weekend seems like an eternity away. As an adult, you know how important the next four years can be. Running with the wrong crowd, drugs and alcohol, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases could alter her future in a way she will still be dealing with 20 or 30 years from now. You know a mistake could alter her entire future; she thinks there is plenty of time for everything, including mistakes. Like all teenagers, she believes "it cant happen to me." As an adult, you know it can. Your daughter needs one foot firmly planted in the day-to-day reality which will build her future, and one foot free to have some fun and enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime experience of being 16. Children make mistakes and so do adults. You made a mistake when you slapped her. Sit down with your daughter, admit your mistake, and apologize. Explain to her that your mistake came from your fears. If you do that, you wont be showing her that you are weak; you will be showing her that you are human. You wrote us out of your love and concern for your daughter. Share that with her. Let her know that you will work to control your realistic fears, if she will help not to set them off. Tamara Foot In The Door My wife and I are experiencing conflict over the issue of smoking. We are both nurses. I have said I dont want to start trying to have a baby until she stops smoking. She says she will stop when she knows for sure she is pregnant. We are both well aware of the damage smoking can do to the fetus, even in the beginning phases of pregnancy. She has a smoking cessation program at her job, but lately she says I am just trying to control her. We are far apart on this issue, and I dont see any easy answer. Ronan Ronan, your wife is telling you just how strong her addiction is. Even knowing the risks to her fetus, she is planning to smoke during part of her pregnancy. Her addiction already has a toehold into her pregnancy. She is being controlled not so much by you as by her addiction to smoking. You are trying to come between her and her cigarettes, so her addiction is pointing the finger at you. Once she has the stress, emotions, and hormonal changes of pregnancy, it may be all the excuse she needs to continue. The only power you have is to make sure a pregnancy does not occur. Wayne
| RELATED ARTICLES The Solution to Healthy Weight Loss The overweight and obesity epidemic is a worldwide problem. There are no official statistics for spending on diet products, but estimates vary from $40 to $100 billion in the US alone,much of that on scams and fad diets that promise the impossible. What Every Woman Needs! As a woman, your body is very complex. Throughout every phase of your life you will require extra care and nutritional support. Todays scientific advances support a number of natural choices for women, like soy. Still, the fact remains that calcium, folic acid and iron continue to be the most important nutrients that can impact a womans total health. All women should take a daily multiple vitamins with these essential nutrients. Low-Carb Dieting During Pregnancy May Benefit Your Baby! As low-carb dieters change there eating habits, it is likely that these habits will stay with them. 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That is why symbolic things such as dolls or lotus seeds would be put on the beds of the newly weds on their wedding day so as to bring in the meaning of having a baby as soon as possible. Winning at Post-Natal Weight Loss: Six Simple Strategies for New Moms —Part 3 A healthy pregnancy almost always involves weight gain. But now that baby’s here, you’re probably wishing those extra pounds would hurry up and disappear!While it won’t happen overnight, these six simple tips can help you lose that extra weight in a healthy way.If you’re looking for parts 1 and 2 of this article, you can find them both at http://www.mambomoms.com/articles.html Fade My Freckles! Freckles, age spots, pregnancy mask - these harmless skindefects can be quite an annoying problem. We all want not onlysilky smooth complexion, but an even and healthy skin tone aswell. Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy Your period is late and you start to think maybe you might be pregnant. Maybe you are afraid to go take a test because you dont want to find out the results. You may be asking yourself "how could this happen" If you find yourself pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy all kinds of emotions may run through your mind. Perhaps you are secretly excited about this but scared to tell your husband. Maybe you are not married and scared about facing motherhood alone. Maybe you do not want any more children and the prospect of having another baby is the worst thing you could imagine right now. There are many scenarios that lead up to unplanned pregnancies. Mistakes in judgment happen, condoms break, birth control pills fail, even tubal ligations and vasectomies fail. Triggers of Migraines – Why You Should Know Yours What causes migraines is still somewhat of a mystery. Doctors believe that it has to do with the blood vessels in the head contracting and then expanding. This happens from time to time to most people, but with migraineurs this tends to be more intense and painful. The exact cycle of events taking place in our brains during a migraine attack is still not fully understood. Parenting - The Irrational Vocation There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance is involved in feeling that children are more a satisfaction than a nuisance. Why do people bother with parenting It is time consuming, exhausting, strains otherwise pleasurable and tranquil relationships to their limits. Still, humanity keeps at it: breeding. How to Pick the Best Name for Your Baby Expectant parents spend hours preparing the nursery, poring over pregnancy and delivery books and going to childbirth classes.Yet surprisingly, many decide their child’s given name within a matter of minutes, often spending more time selecting the right car seat or stroller. Sex or Gender Alan Pease, author of a book titled "Why Men Dont Listen and Women Cant Read Maps", believes that women are spatially-challenged compared to men. The British firm, Admiral Insurance, conducted a study of half a million claims. They found that "women were almost twice as likely as men to have a collision in a car park, 23 percent more likely to hit a stationary car, and 15 percent more likely to reverse into another vehicle" Reuters. What is Abuse Violence in the family often follows other forms of more subtle and long-term abuse: verbal, emotional, psychological sexual, or financial. The First Week with your Baby The first week of your babys life brings big adjustments for both of you. You are adjusting to being a mother and caring for your baby and your baby is adjusting to life outside the womb. It is a time of great joy -- and possibly immense fear! Although youve been preparing for the birth of your baby for months, now he is here and depending on you for everything which can seem overwhelming. Dont expect too much of yourself during these first days! If anyone offers you help -- take it! The Pregnancy Glow and Other Myths of Motherhood It happened during the ninth month of my first pregnancy. I was going through a department store check-out lane where a teenage girl was ringing up my purchases. She looked shyly at my burgeoning belly with an expression that could only be described as reverent. Surviving a C-Section After 42 weeks of pregnancy, two days of undergoing inducement and physical stress on the baby, my daughter was delivered via an emergency C-section. Oh, it was music to my ears when my gynecologist arrived in my hospital room at 4:30 a.m. and told me they were going to do an emergency C-section. I must have been in shock or delirious! However, after going through a traumatic two days, I had had enough and I wanted to meet this precious baby who lived inside of me for 9+ months. The time came and I was wheeled to the operating room, and what a blessed event it was to see my sweet new baby girl! 50 Things To Do To Your Boss That Are Fun For You, But Not For Them 1. You’re eavesdropping and you hear your boss has reservations at his favorite restaurant.You know, the one you can’t afford.Call them back and cancel his reservations – say you’re his wife. Finally...The Truth About Calcium Supplements Undoubtedly calcium has become a hot topic of controversy.We are bombarded with advertising telling us exactly what will give our body more calcium.Between the “Got Milk” slogans on one end and the Coral Calcium “cure-all” TV spots on the opposite end it is time that the truth be exposed.Let’s look at why we need calcium and then some signs of calcium deficiency. |
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