Dealing with Grief & Loss

What this Rabbi Learned from Not being Re-hired


It's a familiar story, and I have been through it before, and so have you. In January the Synagogue Personnel Committee told me that they were recommending that the synagogue not renew my contract. I had been here six years, and now they said it was time to go. I could have contested their decision by going public to the entire congregation, but I decided that if my leadership didn't want me anymore to be their Rabbi, that I was leaving. And then came the grief...

Silent Tears - from a Norwegian Hospital


Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her.

Why Does God Allow Suffering?


Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked Leggos, trains, and watching TV. He had red hair, freckles, and a huge smile. Justin was a great kid and everybody loved him. Because of cancer, he didn't live to see his eleventh birthday. His mom Mary, who had watched him suffer for months, held her son in her arms when he died. Every day, for the last two years, she has lived with the grief of her loss and the memories of Justin's suffering.

How My Four Your Old Son Reacted To The Death Of His Great Nanny Biscuits


My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age of eighty eight. Unfortunately she died in hospital and this article describes how my son reacted to the news of her death. His reaction basically put a smile back onto my face again.

Graceful Grief: Angelic Help is on the Way!


I believe that major change and loss in our lives is a door to grow ourselves, to become more loving, compassionate and accepting towards others and ourselves. We have choices that determine what the journey will look like.

Pet Loss: Significant and Profound Loss or Much Ado about Nothing?


For those who have deeply loved and lost their animal companions, the answer is obvious and yet disturbing. There are still far too many people in our culture who minimize and trivialize the loss of a pet. They tell the grieving friend, colleague or family member, "What's wrong with you? Get over it. It was only a dog (or cat, bird, horse, etc.) Get yourself a new one! After all, it's been a month already. You shouldn't be so torn up over this."

Watching Death


Like it or not, we think in line with our customs and tradition often times, right down to the level of how we think of death, or about death. I was a licensed counselor for many years, and the issue came up a few times, and I was sad at its results, to hear Americas shamefully trying to avoid talking about it. But let me put that aside and finish the article. Yes customs and traditions set down; do play a big part in how we view death. Death being a normal and natural thing; we mimic our parents and our TV heroes, and how they portray death. Why so much gloom out there on death [?] It has been around for a long time, as long as I?ve been around anyhow, fifty-seven years. It is often a taboo subject to talk bout it in certain places. But you can see a lot of books on the subject; more than I can count.

Am I a Mother - Tips for Handling Mother?s Day After Miscarriage


Are you spending this Mother?s Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S. alone face this question every year after suffering pregnancy loss. ?For women who experience a miscarriage during their first pregnancy, the question of motherhood is an even greater one,? says Lisa Church of HopeXchange, a company dedicated to the support of women and their families facing pregnancy loss.

How to Deal with Suffering


Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for those who are most concerned about this topic.

Euthanasia: How Will I Know When its Time?


Pippin needed assistance from his owner to get to his feet. He slowly walked to the door, then needed help once again to step down onto the back porch. With a slight groan, he squatted to relieve himself and came back towards the house. There was no twinkle in his eye, and this time he needed to be carried all the way back to his bed. He?d used up his energy for that day.

Grief Masks


October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me think of masks, and masks remind me that sometimes when we?re grieving, we wear masks without even realizing it. We may never stop to think about how other people perceive our appearances, our images and our behaviors. Over time, we may gradually drift into a pattern of "being" that is so familiar to us we never realize that others might be seeing us in a totally different way.

Tenderizing


Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate letter that was so full of venom and hostility, it gave me shivers. The ultra-religious lady who wrote it is young and passionate about her beliefs. She was quite critical of those who express their grief pain, because she doesn?t believe pain is necessary in grief. She evidently thinks that if we would just trust God, we would not be suffering. She is not bereaved, and it would appear that life has not yet delivered to her the kind of agony that so many of us have experienced. However, nothing is wasted if we can learn something from it, and the writer of this letter has opened my eyes to a truth I would like to explore with you, my friends.

Liberation


It is one thing to be free; it is quite another to be liberated. Liberation implies that freedom was absent for a time, and there was bondage. Though it may seem like a dichotomy, grief has both the power to bind and the power to liberate from bondage.

Is Death Really the End or the Window to A New Beginning?


Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She has been given less than six months to live as the cancer has fully permeated her liver and pancreas.

You Have to Show Up: On Small Miracles (Okay, maybe not so small)


I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.

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