The very first "motivational speaker" I heard as an adult was a gentleman named Mort Utley. I experienced his speech in May of 1989 in Nashville, Tennessee, at the end of a week of Sales School with the Southwestern Company. I was 19 years old and had just finished my freshman year at the University of Wisconsin, and Mr. Utley's speech was the final component of my formal training to sell educational books door-to-door for the summer. I was absolutely coming out of my skin with an indescribable combination of intense excitement and great fear. Mort Utley's speech made one of the most "un-motivational" statements I had ever heard. He said:
Five Tips for Perfect Transition Decisions
You?re considering a new career, new place to live or new business, retirement, or any other move. You ask, "Will I be happy?" If you remember the old, old song, "What will be" may not be the answer you?re looking for.
What Am I Going To Do With The Rest Of My Life?
Unexpected life changes. Anticipated transitions. Long, sleepless nights. What do these three things have in common? The ability to provoke one of the most haunting questions in the library of human introspectives:
Make The Second Half The Best Half
Something happens when you come to the intersection called mid-life; you can look back in retrospect and see your life from an entirely different context. For many this mid-life review brings about a sense of urgency that ignites what is formally called ?the mid-life crisis?. It?s where we can trace the effects back to causes that were initiated by our own poor decision, our inattention to important details, our recklessness, our fear, our misplaced priorities, and our ignorance. It can be a pretty bleak experience to really understand, maybe for the first time, that your life really could have been much better if you only knew then what you know now.
Ah but there is a subtle sweetness in enduring the emotional upheaval of a mid-life review and that is the fact that you can decide that the second half will be the best half. You can garner the lessons from your past life by taking the knowledge and the wisdom, and leaving the rest behind. You may also experience grief, regret, anger, and blame. Whatever gut-wrenching emotions you feel should be acknowledged and then gently released. You can choose rather you will continue down your current path or if you will choose a new direction for your life. By consciously deciding how you will live the rest of your life, you can create a life that is extraordinary.
It?s a mighty sweet deal when you think about it but how do you make it happen?
Here is a 5-point plan that you can customize and implement in 2 to 5 years that will make the next 40 mean more than you could possibly imagine.
Step 1. Create a life vision, not fantasy, that is worth living into that includes personal, professional, and spiritual growth, leveraging your abilities, gifts, and life experiences, contributing to others, having accomplishments that take you beyond lifestyle and status, and building relationships that are life-enhancing.
Step 2. Form alliances with those who walk in front of you, beside you, and behind you. There are those who will be teachers and role models in your life, those who will be companions and friends, and those who will be students. Honor each type of relationship for they will all help you advance in life.
Step 3. Remove barriers to success by installing new personal qualities, beliefs, habits, skills, and relationships as required. Learn to observe your sticking points, your hot buttons, your negative patterns and work to dismantle them one by one with the understanding that this is a lifetime commitment that requires diligence, patience, and self-care.
Step 4. Learn to fan the fires of your own burning desire. Replenish and renew yourself in healthy ways and learn to balance the various aspects of your life so that you are left feeling whole.
Step 5. Stay in the game and expect to win. Know that the Universe is on your side and life embraces and supports evolution and you are playing a critical role in your own personal evolution.
Why should you expect to spend at least 2 years in this redesign process?
Society has programmed us to expect glorified results instantly but upon closer examination, it becomes obvious that the value of a microwave life is commensurate with the investment of time, energy, and resources. The value of life is not just measured by outcomes but also by the process that produces those outcomes. In other words, the joy of living?is living. In 2 to 5 years you will discover aspects of yourself that reveal your true brilliance. You will shed many false perceptions that have restricted and confined you. The rigorous work you will do will be accompanied by a manifold of rewards; expected and unexpected.
Of course, it could happen in less time because the time it actually takes is totally dependant on how much you resist change and how willing you are leave the your herded existence behind. You see, a great life is available to the masses but the masses will not forsake their average existence to claim their inheritance. To create an extraordinary life requires that we learn from our mistakes and our victories and continuously reexamine our personal paradigms adjusting them as needed. When you are making the second half the best half, you will find that you will be in a constant state of personal evolution. As you move toward your life?s purpose your envisioned life will become the master plan that will guide your life?s choices if it has been carefully designed to holistically reflect your individual uniqueness, which is woven into the expression of your values, contributions, and priorities.
Life Versus Lifestyle
There is a difference but what constitutes a life and what constitutes a lifestyle is pretty ambiguous. One thing that seems pretty clear to me is the lifestyle is observable while a life can have many internal aspects to it. A lifestyle can include people, material things, environments, how we spend our time, energy, and money. A life includes things like our beliefs, our values, our commitments, our soul?s dream, and our vision. If you choose a lifestyle first you could wind up with an empty fortress. If you choose the life first, you will design your lifestyle to support the life.
Since most of us already have a lifestyle, and a default life, we usually have to do some redesign work. Choose a life and then redesign our lifestyle. It is possible that the lifestyle you currently have will never support the life you truly want to live. It is possible the lifestyle you currently have has many supporting structures and only minor renovations need to occur. It is possible that you are a highly intuitive person and your lifestyle is in perfect alignment. I know very few people who fall into that category. My dad does but what I notice about him, is he and my mother made a conscious decision to structure their lives around their spiritual values. They made that decision early in their marriage and lived true to it. Now it?s interesting that my parents are actually old enough to be my grandparents, (my mother is no long living) and I noticed that many earlier generations were not given to having transformational conversations so learning was a very different process then than it is now. The fact that we have e-courses and teleclasses and magazines and tons of books that are created to help people learn to live more meaningful and personally fulfilling lives represents a shift from how things use to be.
As we evolve we begin to look at various aspects of our lives for congruence to our values and commitments. The disparity shows up with exclamation marks behind them and sometimes our response is discouragement and self-disappointment. We act as if we should have known better when the truth is how could we have known better? So the first thing to get over is ?I didn?t know? and then after we get over that we come to ?but I know now?now what?? It takes a courageous person to see this and then set their intentions on bringing integrity into their life so that their lifestyle gives them a life that serves their higher self. You will notice some people trying to work around it, pretending it doesn?t matter that their lifestyles don?t measure up to their core values.
The real problem is once you see the inconsistency, not doing anything actually makes things worse and you lose ground really fast. It cost you big time to keep that inconsistency in place. You can?t be with yourself and be at peace in your life. It wears you down like water will wear down a mountain over time. Your life will devolve instead of evolve. If that is not a price that?s too high to pay, I don?t know what is. Just think about it and choose wisely the path you will follow.
The One-Two Punch for Success: Authenticity and Alignment
Have you ever felt as if you are beating your head against a wall? You repeatedly try to reach a goal but you never seem to achieve it. Instead you are struggling rather than moving forward and achieving your goals with grace and ease. You are not alone. The struggle to move from what we don?t want to what we do want is, unfortunately, a fundamental struggle for many individuals. Believe it or not, it is very common for people to struggle against what they want and to actively limit their good. In order to have what you want, you must be willing to end the struggle and move into action. Your success is dependent on your ability to reach your goals and achieve. The easiest way to move from ?stuck? into action without struggle is to be authentic and to be in alignment with your authenticity. Authenticity means that you are connected to your core and that your desires are a true reflection of your inner self and soul. Alignment means that your entire being is in agreement with the goal you want to achieve. For example, you come home from work one evening and you are very tired. But this evening is your work-out night. You sit on the couch and actually have to talk yourself into getting into your gym clothes and heading off to the gym. What you did in convincing part of yourself to go to the gym when it really wanted to rest on the couch is called alignment. You got yourself into alignment with the idea and intention of going to the gym no matter how tired a part of you felt. To end struggle and successfully achieve goals, all parts of you must work together for manifestation. That means all bodies, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual, must be in agreement concerning a goal. There can be no doubts, limiting beliefs or attachments. The following describes a process you can use to do an authenticity check concerning your goals and bring yourself into alignment with your goals. Step One: Sit quietly ? create a peaceful, serene and nurturing space for yourself. It must be a space where you feel comfortable and secure. Spend several minutes in quiet and inner reflection upon your goal. Have paper and pen handy. Step Two: The Authenticity Check: Ask within if this goal is the appropriate goal for you to achieve at this time. If the answer is yes, skip to the next step. If the answer is no, ask what a more appropriate goal would be for you right now. By asking this question, you move from being ruled by the needs of the mind (survival issues) and begin to access the soul within. You leave behind the petty desires of the ego and move into realizing the desires of the soul. As a result, your goals become truer and more authentic. Write down the response you receive. If you need additional clarity concerning the response, ask for it. Keep asking within until you feel complete. Step Three: Alignment. Once you have a defined and authentic goal, it is time to create alignment. Remain in your space of quiet and comfort; ask to speak to your mental body. (You will repeat step Three with each of the bodies) Ask your mental body if it is willing to be in alignment with you goal. The purpose of this question is to uncover any blocks or limitations that reside in the mental body concerning the goal. If the answer is yes, proceed to the next body: physical, spiritual and emotional. If the answer is no, simply begin a conversation with this part of you. Some questions to begin with are: Why are you not willing to be in alignment with this goal? What would it take for you to be in alignment with this goal? When a part is not willing to be in alignment with an authentic goal, the cause may be fear or insecurity. Usually the situation is remedied by helping the part understand that it is taken care of, that it is safe and that it has nothing to fear. Simply, have a conversation with the part and inform it of the truth. Once you receive the willingness of all the bodies, remember to thank them for supporting the manifestation of this authentic goal. Affirm your alignment with this goal and your intention to manifest it. By completing this process, you have created an authentic goal and brought yourself into full alignment with this goal. You can now move forward without struggle because all blocks have been removed. Success shall be yours.
The Reasons Why We Fear Success
In the book, The SHOCKwealth System?, it is discussed that there are four fears that must be overcome in order to experience true success. One of those fears is the fear of success itself. The Fear Of Success is the self-sabotaging fear.
The Gravitational Pull of ANTs, WORMS & FEARS
What is an ANT?
Control Your Fear Before It Controls You
"Fear Factor" is one of my favorite TV shows. It highlights the courage of the participants to engage inthe most fearsome and disgusting acts.
Live Your Life To The Fullest
Do you sometimes feel that you're living a boring life? Youjust can't seem to find anything exciting.
How To Use The Past, Future, And Present In Attaining Success
Did you know that your past, present, and future can affectdirectly or indirectly your outlook in life?
Creating A Life You Love
Imagine that right now, right here, today? there is within your grasp not one but several opportunities to redesign specific aspects of your life so that the sum total is a life you absolutely love. Then imagine that the only thing standing between you and your opportunities is a closed mind, fear, habits, concern, worry, drama, or perhaps mental, physical, and emotional clutter. Do you know what a default is? It?s what you get when you don?t choose to get something else and for most of us a default life is average and mediocre with sprinkles of joy in between. A default life is living for the weekend. A default like is hanging on ?til retirement. A default life is waiting for the kids to grow up, move out, and finish college. A default life is waiting, and waiting, and waiting for things to get better someday?one day.
Wait, Thats Not on the Map
Back from my amazing summer excursion, a month long drive through Spain! Well, I mean, I didn?t do any of the driving, my partner did. See, I only know how to drive an automatic and since we have a stick here in Belgium, my partner kindly agreed to do all the driving. In total it ended up being close to 5000 kilometers and he did beautifully without so much as a complaint. Nice, huh?
* Perfectionism is a time waster.
Vision -- What Are You Doing Today Towards Achieving Your Vision?
Every man who accomplishes things sees first in his mind what he wishes to do. He puts away all doubt. It makes no difference how small or how large the thing you want to do may be; if you have an unlimited confidence in your ability to do it, you will do it. - Charles Fillmore
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Reaping the Fruit of Success in Life
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Listening - A Life Skill for Success!
When I decided to have my web site built, I discovered 5 web site
designers whose portfolios I found professional and creative. On
approach, four of them asked me to fill out time consuming forms
detailing my needs and objectives but none took the time to call me.
However, the fifth designer started his sell by calling, listening to my
needs, asking questions and following up with a detailed proposal. He
called again for feedback and asked further questions about my needs.
It was this coupled with his professional approach why I decided he was
the one I wanted to work with.
Is Shyness Affecting Your Job?
It is accepted that most people have felt shy at one time or another but not everyone who appears to be shy can be identified as having any social problems. While some are only shy in certain situations they feel uncomfortable with, such as
meeting people for the first time, others feel shy more often and go out of their way to try and avoid any situation that encourages them to experience unpleasant feelings.
Overcoming The Fear Of Money
Many people, it seems, have a fear of money. Does the thought of having a lot of money make you uncomfortable? Cause you anxiety? If so, it may be that you are buying into the myths about money. Myths that are simply untrue. In fact, many of the most common statements about money are often misquoted, wrong, or were made by people who did not understand money ... or had none.
Surf the Wave of Abundance
Bank account bare? Bedroom barren? Body running on empty? Buddha not showing up? Why?
Reach Your Goals - Friendly Competition
?Defining and Feeling Successful? (However you define success)
Formula For Success
Making a Favourable First Impression -- Seven Quick Tips
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17 Extraordinary Human Capacities
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Dare to Dream Again
Do you remember when you were a child and no dream seemed too big? Some of us thought we would walk on the moon; some dreamed of riding with Roy Rogers; others imagined stepping to the plate in a big-league game. Every one of us, when we were young, had a common trait - we were dreamers. The world hadn't gotten to us yet to show us that we couldn't possibly achieve what our hearts longed for. And we were yet still years from realizing that in some cases we weren't built for achieving our dream (I realized about my junior year of high school that I was too short and to slow to play professional basketball. The dreamer is always the last to know).
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Belief And Action Succeed
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Youve Got To Find Passion In It
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The Subtlety of Language
I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.
From Rags To Riches
Nicholas Darvas, escaping his war-torn homeland, Hungary, sought refuge in Turkey in June 1943. In Istanbul, however, he faced a new crisis. Now, he had no friends, no money, no knowledge of Turkish, and no citizenship. He risked starvation. He also risked losing his sense of being special. He didn't want to be poor and hungry for the rest of his life. No, he had fonder hopes for himself. He wanted to thrive. He wanted to be an outrageous success.