Prison Wife: Stand By Your Man
There are approximately 2 million men in the prison system in the United States. That means there are a lot of loved ones left behind to wait...wives, girlfriends, lovers, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, and yes, even children. Only the strong can survive this ordeal.
The heartache and pain is almost unbearable for the prison wife who waits at home. Endless moments, which turn into minutes, hours, and days. Days that turn into weeks. Weeks that turn into months....And then, months even turn into years. The seasons change, as time rolls by. Autumn turns to winter, and winter to spring, and then summer. Holidays come and go, with the Prison Wife "on the outside looking in." She is never really part of anything. She exists in her own world. A world she creates around her. She puts up walls around her, and often becomes a recluse. She lives her life "to keep the household together."......She works, pays the bills, takes care of the children...she does all the normal things of life, but she lives in an abnormal world.
The Prison Wife does her "time" at home, along with her husband, as he does his "time" in a prison cell. The Prison Wife does "The Bid' with her husband.
Many women say "I Do," knowing fully well that their husband committed a crime, and must turn himself into prison. But can anything really prepare her for the heartache that lies ahead"........The lonliness and endless days. No, nothing can prepare her, and it is shocking when the events all unfold around her. Sometimes she walks around as if in a dream...that this just all can't be real.
Priosn Wives are "powerless," and have no "freedom." Her life revolves around collect calls from the prison...around "count," around "Visits" that are so retrictive....She carries extra type of clothing in the car when she visits her husband, because if the prison guards "don't like her clothes " on that particular day, she may be refused entry to see her husband...So, she chanmges outfits, in the parking lot or back seat of the car...from sleeveless to sleeves, from too tight to loose, from wire under- bras to wireless bras...Whatever it takes!...Please Lord ! Please let the prison gurads accept what i'm wearing today! Please let me see my husband today!....It doesn't matter that they refuse to let me use the ladies room...and when they do, it is usually a dirty, smelley, dark and dank outhouse, that is old and hasn't been cleaned or painted in years. It doesn't matter that I got up at 4am, to get here at 7 am, for early ungodly hours for visits. And these prisons seem to always be located in some far-off place, amongst the woods and farmlands. Most visitors trvel 2 or 3 or 4...maybe more, hours to get to their loved one.
I always heard the words "prison reform." I always ignored it...it meant nothing to me, because after all, I had no one within the prison system. But now, I am part of it all...my husband is in prison. And so, not only am I for Prison Reform, but I am for "Rights for the prisoner's wife and loved ones."
I ask you, "Is anyone listening?"....Not unless they are there, in the same situation will they listen." A nd of course it all starts with legislation. As for me, I am but one person....Everything in our world starts with "one."....."one person," "one idea,".......that spreads to others.........So, I hope you are listening, and I hope you care.......I care about you!
My husband has been in the prison system for the last 22 months. I am a retired Registered Nurse, who writes about her daily life as a "prisoner's wife," in a journal on aol, called "REFLECTIONS OF A PRISON WIFE."
(to get to my journal, you may also Google the words "Reflections of a Prison Wife," OR "Prison Wife," or "kintock." You will find it on the first few pages, as it is quite popular) http://JOURNALS.AOL.COM/CRYSTALMOON222/REFLECTIONSOFAPRISONWIFE/
Second Time Around the Block
Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or the moral and ethical implications of that here. Even if you're the innocent one who stuck to your vows and got dumped anyway, you still have to pick yourself up and move on. So let's start from that place. At some point you will wrestle within yourself and within your spiritual and religious beliefs as to whether or not you will date again. This article is for those of you who have decided that yes, you are going to date again and maybe even get married again. You've decided to give love a second chance.
How To Give Women What They Want and Need?The Forgotten Method of Wooing
Calling Forth a Soulmate
How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. It doesn't happen like that. You can open your heart and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances are that using the word soulmate will almost jinx you from finding it. Why?
Are You My Soul Mate?
I'm always dumbfounded when someone walks up to me and declares that they either have not found their soul mate or says, "There are no soul mates out there for me."
Do You Enable?
We all have behaviors, tendencies, patterns, and the keen ability to recognize any and all of them. However, when we become so accustomed and engrossed in them, how do we know we are enabling someone else's negative behaviors?
Things Every Couple Should Know
In my family law practice, one of the most common things I hear over and over from clients who have just had the law explained to them is, "I wish I had known that a long time ago!" Or, "If only I had known that before (whatever) happened." People entering any form of long-term relationship, whether married, domestic partners, or just living together, are typically unaware that their relationship to each other--and to third parties, like creditors or government agencies--are defined and governed by rules of law, often in ways they did not expect or would not have agreed to had they known. They are not aware of what can happen when events force these rules into play. Another surprise is that new laws can come along at any time and change your legal relationship in significant ways without you knowing or agreeing to it. And that's nothing compared to what can happen when you move to another state. Rights and duties that you might or might not have been aware of will suddenly become entirely different. Law books are filled with the cases of unhappy people who found out after the fact that things were not as they had thought or wished. Here are two more things that couples should know. First, couples can make written agreements that change the rules of their relationship to suit their own needs and preferences. And, second, a relationship agreement can be a positive and constructive thing that reinforces your commitment to one another and creates a foundation for working out problems that might arise in the future, possibly saving your relationship. It is much better if you do not wait in ignorance for some defining event to spring up and force the rules to your attention. I encourage every couple to know where they stand and learn how and to what extent they can tailor their legal relationship to more closely suit their personal wishes. Above all, I recommend that every couple enter into a basic Couples Contract and give themselves the invaluable advantages that can be had just for spending a little effort to do it. Your legal relationships have already been defined If you are in a long-term relationship and do not have an enforceable written agreement, rules of law define and govern the following important features of your relationship:
Engaged, In Love, and In Limbo
Well, here I am very much in love and starting to plan my August wedding, when Murphy's Law sets in.
Relationship Advice: Why Brad and Jen Broke Up and What We Can Learn from Them
It's been a few months since the riveting headlines: The Dream Couple, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up. The fall out from this celebrity break up is still plastered all over the magazine headlines.
Are You Fit To Love?
is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's face it, our relationships are extremely important. Yet, often they are the cause of pain and struggle. Single or not, societal standards convince us that we can have it all. Much of the available relationship advice compels us to go after everything we want. Sadly, for many it is not working. Climbing divorce rates and more singles seeking love are proof that our attitudes are counterproductive.
How Much Time Do You Invest in Relationship Maintenance?
When starting a new relationship, we usually adopt a subconscious idea as to how much maintenance this connection will need. Usually, if given some thought, we can throw a microscope over this concept while it is in its fledgling state.
How to Kiss and Make Up
Was it a hectic day for you, or did you have one of those slow days that seem to drag on forever? Well, hopefully when you get home, if you are not home already, you will not have some drama you don't need waiting for you. If you do, we have some ideas about how to quench the drama, deflate your anger and get back to your fun self.
10 Tips For A Happy Relationship
It's not working. Your relationship with your partner is not the same. What can you do? These days more than 50% of all marriages fail for some reason. Usually the marriages are because of too much criticism over money or the children.
He Said, She Said
The Relationship Triangle
Charisma, Love and Health
This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert. Robert is one of those really charismatic people. You know the kind I mean. Wherever he goes, people are just drawn to him, its truly a sight to behold.
When Groucho Marx Got It Right
Groucho Marx was, I believe, a comic genius; a linguistic virtuoso, offbeat, wacky and insanely funny. He was also rude, abrasive and these days he'd qualify as verbally abusive. In film after film Margaret Dumont was on the receiving end of his scathing humour. She would fall for his iconoclastic charm and we the audience would fall about laughing at the sheer improbability of plot and seduction.
7 Myths About Good Guys
It is every woman's dream to meet a "Good Guy" who will sweep her off her feet and transform into her knight in shinning armor. It is quite interesting to talk to women and listen to their ideas of what a "Good Guy" is. It is after listening to some close female friends that I decided to clear the air by busting some of the myths surrounding what Good guys are all about. Here are some of the myths and the truths about good guys:
I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away
Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed to be easy, because then everyone would be involved in them. However, if we can manage to keep some things in mind and change our mind set just a bit, we can see that making long-distance work is not that bad...not only that, but also that it just might be a little bit of (honest) fun.
Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends
How To Support Friends and Loved Ones Through an Abusive Relationship
This is a question that comes up a lot. It's hugely frustrating, as well as difficult and painful to watch someone you care about struggle in the quicksand of an abusive relationship.
Keep the Fires Burning
The toys are put away, homework's done and the kids are in bed. The lunches are made and the dishwasher is on. You wash your face, brush your teeth, choose clothes for tomorrow and then collapse into bed beside your spouse. You lean over give your mate a perfunctory kiss and casually comment that your sex life "sure isn't what it used to be before kids"-and instantly fall asleep.
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