Rescue and Rebuild Your Relationship: 7 Tips to Make it Work
Create Time To Share And Time On Your Own.
Establish time to spend together and time for yourself. Although you need the time together to nurture your relationship, it is important to have a good balance. You are not the Mini-Me of each other. You each have your own values, interests and needs. Make sure your couple time is about quality, not quantity. Set up boundaries so the family and friends know that this is your sacred time. Now, it's time to shift focus on you. Having shared perspectives and similar interests does not mean that you have to participate in all activities together. Creating personal time for yourself is important for your personal growth. However, don't use personal space as an excuse to not make time for each other. It is imperative that you articulate to each other the need for this time, so that no one feels neglected.
Be Patient with Each Other.
No one is perfect. It is important that you accept and love each other, quirks and all. Your relationship is a shared territory. It requires love, work and patience There is a learning curve in relationships and for some the learning never stop. There is a difference in how the two of you relate, interact and live. You come to realize each others' strengths and weaknesses. View each other's abilities and personality as a gift. Be more flexible in your viewpoints. Work on win/win methods, so that no one has to lose. It's more important to understand and value each other's viewpoint, rather than trying to agree or disagree with it.
Respect Each Other
Respect each other's values. Respect each other's time. Respect each other's space. Respect each other's privacy. Respect each other's weaknesses. Respect each other's point of view. Respect each other's faith. Respect each other's friends and family. Respect each other's job or career. Respect each other's culture. Respect each other's sense of humor. Respect each other's character. Respect each other's choices. Respect each other's belongings. Respect each other through love.
Highlight What's Right
Highlighting what's right builds up, rather than tears down. Constant criticism diminishes self-esteem. This is why verbal and emotional abuse can be so damaging. No one wants to start or end their day with a laundry list of complaints. Take time to appreciate what's going right in the relationship. Make it a habit of complimenting each other on something besides physical appearance. Build up each other's confidence .Point out noteworthy or small tokens of appreciation. Take the time to show gratitude. When people feel good, they want to share that feeling with others.
If we spoke less and listened more, it would eliminate many of our communication problems. However, humans are conditioned to listen with the intent to respond. When was the last time you listened attentively to your significant other? Do you listen and then try to solve a problem? Do you listen and then offer advice? Do you listen and then criticize or belittle? Do you listen and then self-reference? When you listen, it builds trust. Your significant other feels understood and will share more with you over time. The next time you see your significant other in a contemplative state, tell them you're available to listen. .
Let Go Of Emotional Baggage
It's time to unpack your emotional baggage. You can not undo the past. Bringing past pain into a present relationship is like mixing dirty clothes with laundered clothes. The old emotions need to be resolved before you can be yourself in your current relationship. Emotional baggage contributes to insecurities, poor judgment, cynicism and indecisiveness. Trying to protect your feelings will hinder your freedom and growth. Think about why you continue to allow yourself to suffer with this pain? Is there someone you need to forgive? Are you carrying around resentment and guilt? Talk about the situation with your significant other, so they can have a better understanding of what you are going through. If the pain is too unbearable, seek professional help together or alone.
Marie Magdala Roker is a Personal Development Coach an Author of Successful Thinking for a Successful Life: How to Banish the Unhealthy Thoughts and Habits That Limit Your Success. Her Successful Thinking? program is an affordable coaching resource that offers support and encouragement when there are roadblocks to success. You can find out more about the program at http://www.thinkandbesuccessful.com or sign up for her free Be Inspired newsletter at http://www.smartbeecoaching.com
Are You Ready to Handle an Indigo Child?
So what's new in the world of spirituality and the new age these days? What's the new talk we keep hearing all about? The talk about the indigo Children is gearing more and more. There are now so many workshops, lectures, books and websites dedicated to discussing this subject. You name it, we've got it!
Valentine?s Day is Fast Approaching, So Gather the Chocolates and Lingerie
That lover's holiday we know as Valentine's Day is coming up again. This year, be prepared for it. There is no sense in running around at the last minute to find the right gift. Here's a list of the traditional winners.
Calming the Storm In Your Relationship
Loving Without Losing Yourself!
You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. To prevent this ship from sinking you work hard to steer this relationship into a safe harbor. In the process you lose yourself and your romantic relationship becomes all-consuming!
Are you (or are you with) a Commitment-Phobe?
We hear it all the time. "He just won't make a commitment." "She just wants some space right now." "I'm not sure if I'm ready for a serious relationship."
The Sound of His Laughter
When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you to pay close attention to his laugh. It may seem odd for me to say that, but you can tell a lot about a man by his laugh. Real laughter is uncontrollable. For just a moment something strikes us as funny and the sound of laughter pours forth spontaneously and without any real control on our part. It bubbles up and gives away the secret part of us that thinks the event or situation presented is funny. Laughter can be faked, but that's part of what I want you to analyze when you're listening to his laughter.
Russian Brides - Who Are They?
In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women have come to the USA and European countries by means of marriage and were unkindly labeled "Russian mail-order brides". But who are these women, really? Why are they prepared to leave everything behind, to go to an unknown country and live with an unknown man? Can a Russian bride really be a good solution for a Western man? We will attempt to demystify the phenomenon of mail-order-brides.
Desirous Attachment , the Trap and the Solution
I've seen a lot in my life. A lot of people suffering, fearful, temporarily joyous angry, hurt, resentful, longing, hopeful, and ecstatic too.
Improve Your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself First
It's important for you to take care of yourself before you try to fix your relationship. The old saying 'You can't give away what you don't have" applies here. Until you are peaceful and happy, you won't have a peaceful, happy relationship.
A Kiss is Never Just a Kiss!
"Kiss: a secret told to the mouth instead of to the ear." Edmond Rostand
Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge
Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse as ammunition for revenge. Sure, you may have wonderfully violent fantasies of what you would really like to do to him/her and the other person. This is very normal. But, don't act them out.
Single in a Couples World
Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever this year. Everywhere I turned, I saw candy hearts or jewelry glistening in store displays. Radio announcers drummed the message home through constant promotions of dinner for two. There was no one "special" in my life. I had been working hard on my home-based business, running two personal development programs and then writing well into the night, week after week, to expand my website content. I wanted ? and felt I deserved ?a little appreciation.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28, 2004
The Three Levels of Soul Mates
From my own personal experience of being involved in certain relationships, I have come to realize there are three different levels of Soul Mates. We discussed Soul Mates in a previous article of mine, 'Soul Mates - Do they really exists" now we should keep our eyes open and pay closer attention to our relationships, in order that we might recognize those soul mates.
How to Kiss and Make Up
Was it a hectic day for you, or did you have one of those slow days that seem to drag on forever? Well, hopefully when you get home, if you are not home already, you will not have some drama you don't need waiting for you. If you do, we have some ideas about how to quench the drama, deflate your anger and get back to your fun self.
Relationship Advice: Who Are You and What Have You Done with My Spouse?
"When we marry, we don't marry one person, we marry three. The person we think they are, the person they really are and the person they will become as a result of marrying us."
Global Conflict and Inter-Religious Dialogue: The Importance of Understanding Others
As is learned in the study of Comparative Religion, the Avitars (Moses, Muhammad, Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, Abraham and others) had amazingly similar philosophies of belief ... centered on Right Action as a path: respect others, think positively, be helpful and be compassionate. It is their disciples, especially in the extreme (and the subsequent dogmas) that have made modern religions unnecessarily complex and adversarial.
Little Help Finding Love Online
Visit the dating sites.
Want To Strengthen Your Relationship
Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk ? say what's on your mind. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder will not strengthen your relationship. It will only create more distance between you and your mate. If you can't find the right words to say, write a letter. You may think that not saying something will make the issue or problem go away ? it won't. What it will do is build resentment towards your mate and open up the door for other problems to crawl in.
Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make
1) Treat the family you have come from as more important than the family you are creating. Put your parents' opinion and happiness above those of your spouse. Spend more time with them than you do your own family. Invite them into marital disputes. Share private knowledge with them.
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