Dont Just Hope - Decide!
As the story goes, a single college-age guy went to the airport one day to pick up a friend. As he waited for his friend to come off the plane, he noticed a man hurrying through the crowd, calling to the woman and two children standing next to him. The woman and two children were calling to the man as well. The man rushed up to the woman, took her in his arms, looked into her eyes, said "It's been too long!" and gave her a big kiss. As he bent down to hug each of his children he said "I've missed your faces so much."
As this touching scene was happening right in front of him, the young man couldn't help but watch the moment. The older man caught his gaze, and in an embarrassed tone, the young man said, "I'm sorry for staring, it's just such a beautiful scene. You must have been gone a long time."
"Yes, I was," he answered, "two whole days!"
The young man responded with "Wow, I sure hope I have a family like that someday."
To which the older man replied, "Don't just hope, decide."
Don't just hope, decide.
Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with hope. It's a good thing. Losing hope is a bad thing. Hope deferred makes the heart sick.
It's just that too many of us only hope things will change, get better, etc., and then that is all we do. Faith may move mountains, but you had better bring a shovel. We hope, but we don't do anything, we don't decide.
Just hoping and not deciding to take the necessary actions leads to excuses. Excuses such as the worn out words, "Well , I tried." Once you decide, however, there are only two possible outcomes. You either get what you were aiming at or you create good reasons (excuses) why you did not succeed.
Instead of hoping you can get in better shape this year, decide to get in better shape this year.
Don't just hope you will become a better parent or spouse this year, decide you will become a better parent or spouse this year.
You could hope to save some money this year, or could decide to save some money this year.
Don't just hope ... well, you get the point.
Once you have decided, then it's time to make a specific plan for how you are going to get there. Making a plan does not have to be a complex and burdensome task. Making a plan can be as simple as saying, "I'm here, I want to be there." Then comes step one, step two, step three, step four and so on.
I know that may sound overly simplistic to you. I guess I could complicate it with lots of squishy psychobabble, but why?
You might not know what the steps are, and that's fine. If you don't know what the steps are, don't use that as an excuse. Find out. Read a book on the subject. Find someone who has done or is doing what you want to do and find out how they did it. Hire a counselor or coach to guide and motivate you.
Once you get started, watch out for three of the deadliest words that can derail you in a hurry. These three deadly words are "Just this once ..." Just this once I'll not go to the gym, watch television instead of listening to my spouse or child, spend the money set aside for saving, etc.
The problem with "just this once" is it rarely stays just this once. Just this once becomes just one more time, a new pattern is set, and pretty soon you forget all about what you were wanting to do.
Hearing yourself say "just this once" needs to become a big red flag of warning to you. So the next time you are tempted to give in to just this once, turn these words on their head. Tell yourself that "just this once" I'll stay consistent and keep going with the plan.
Remember how simple it can be. I'm here, I want to be there. One, two, three four.
Don't just hope, decide.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
Whats Stopping You?
We're all familiar with the cycle:
The First Step
Today is an anniversary of sorts for me. Three years ago today, I publicly launched Tomorrow's Edge after years of getting ready, talking about how I was someday going to do it, and researching everything but advertising! It was a huge first step in the middle of a bunch of first steps that I had taken up to that point. Naturally, it fell flat on it's face because of my lack of education in the marketing area. So, here I am three years later, better educated, dusted off, boot straps pulled up, repeating that first step. I take a deep breath, psyche myself up, wiggle my toes a bit, bend my knee, lift my foot, and sit back down with another cup of coffee?. Maybe in a minute or so.
Are You Lacking Self-Discipline? - Part 1
A man does not live until he begins to discipline himself; he merely exists. Like an animal he gratifies his desires and pursues his inclinations just where they may lead him. He is happy as a beast is happy, because he is not conscious of what he is depriving himself; he suffers as the beast suffers, because he does not know the way out of suffering. He does not intelligently reflect upon life, and lives in a series of sensations, longings, and confused memories which are unrelated to any central idea or principle. A man whose inner life is so ungoverned and chaotic must necessarily manifest this confusion in the visible conditions of his outer life in the world; and though for a time, running with the stream of his desires, he may draw to himself a more or less large share of the outer necessities and comforts of life, he never achieves any real success nor accomplishes any real good, and sooner or later wordly failure and disaster are inevitable, as the direct result of the inward failure to properly adjust and regulate those mental forces which make the outer life.
Daily Motivation: 7 Methods
Isn't a lack of daily motivation one of the biggest problems we face when trying to better ourselves? We often know what to do, or at least the first few steps. But we hesitate, something else catches our attention, or we just don't feel like doing what we need to do.
The IDEAL Problem Solver
The IDEAL Problem Solver is an effective tool you can use to attack your problems. If you are used to getting on your horse and riding in all directions when faced with a problem, you may find the IDEAL Problem Solver quite handy. How do you use it?
Two Ways to Feel Fear
In a memorable Depression-era radio speech on the radio, President Franklin Roosevelt declared, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." He was dead right. And for the next few minutes we're going to look at why he was right, and what FEAR really is, and how it can be turned into something strong and productive for you with just a few simple tactics you can learn in less than 10 minutes.
How Breaking Routine And Unexpected Acts of Kindness Can Energize Your Day!
Sometimes life becomes so routine, we don't have to think about a thing we're doing throughout the day. We're programmed to run on automatic. It's important to shake things up every once in a while to get the creative juices flowing, give us an added boost of energy or give us something to concentrate on for a change.
Motivation By Your Family And Cornermen
The motivation for good or bad which we get from our families is huge. They can either destroy our dreams or help us create them. Most of the boxers in the Contender series are strongly supported by their families. The organisers recognise this fact by allowing families to live close to the Contender Gymnasium.
Christian Gladiators? Athletics as a Metaphor for the Christian Lifestyle
When Paul first arrived in Corinth in the middle of his second missionary journey, Acts 18:2-3 reports that he joined Aquila and Priscilla in the occupation of making tents. This fits in well with what Paul himself wrote at about that same time. For example, in 1 Thess. 1:9, he says: "Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you." Similarly, in 2 Thess. 3:7-8, Paul states: "We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat any one's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you."
My Backyard Recipe for Creating an Abundant Life
There's a party going on in my backyard. Just beyond the goldfish pond you can hear the low hum coming from the bee ensemble. If you step closer, you can see them dancing on the tops of purple coneflowers dusting themselves in bright orange pollen. They seem intoxicated by the abundance of fragrant flowers. A vast treasure trove, I imagine, to a bee.
How To Get Motivated When You Have An Off Day
What can you do on days like these? Is there a way to get motivated and stay motivated?
A Turning Point
19 years ago, I was a young working mother at 28, independent and working for a prestigious company, until circumstances made me choose between family and career. After going through weighing my options, I chose to become a full-time Homemaker because I believed that family should come first if the situation would permit.
Employee Motivation - The 8 Basics
Building a team of motivated people in your business is vital to get the very best results, but so many managers focus on the 'ra-ra-ra', rather than the important things - the things that make people feel comfortable in their working environment. Here are eight that you might want to have a think about: The WeatherIs it too hot, or too cold. Your people need an environment which is, like Goldilocks said, 'Just right'. So is the office too stuffy in summer? Or too icy in winter? Is it draughty? Do people get wet when accepting deliveries, because the outside roof leaks? Literally make sure that external factors are as they wish. The BreaksSometimes working in a day-to-day job can get boring and exhausting. So people need to know when their breaks are and that they wil be able to take them - it's not that complicated. Yet often, they just aren't able to have this basic courtesy in place. Planning and caring for your people's needs is vital. It's what you would want for yourself, isn't it? HolidaysAnd vacations/holidays are important too - some would say it's the most important thing on the working year calendar. So enable this to happen, when they need to know, so that they can plan their invaluable time away from the business and refresh. Being HeardYou people need you to listen to then and hear them - really hear what they are saying and respond with action and/or acknowledgement. Be out there creating good, open relationships with your people and take in what they say - what's important to them - and deliver solutions to make conditions great. Achievable GoalsBy being really, really clear about what you expect from your employees, you will set the scene for committed staff. Through knowing exactly what their performance should look like to be judged excellent, by you, gets buy-in, big-time. So be clear, give them the resources to achieve success and they will be well onside. Being ThankedAs they do a good job for you each day - tell them. It's easy - just say 'Thank You'! Appreciation for achieving success, especially when it's from the boss is so important. So recognising excellent performance, even for small tasks, cost nothing and takes but a moment - worth building into your day job activities - every day! ChallengePeople like to do new things, to explore, to seek out and utilise their potential, Sometimes this means they will have to be 'stretched' in what they do. With a helping hand, to support, coach and grow the skills of your people, you are setting in place a keen, ambitious and ready-for-the-next-experience star in the making. So find new ways to develop them. SecurityIn today's business climate, it isn't always easy to build the best future consistently - things change too much, too quickly. But you can go some way to ensure that it is a safe place to be. With this level of security, your people will loosen up and feel capable of being with you, rather than against. It is a measure of your own leadership as to how well this works.These are basics for your people - get these right and you will be 85% there, in having motivated people working with you. Then you can turn on the charm, get radical and creative and find them right there alongside you (in front even!). Focused on building your business strongly.
12 Reflections on Personal Responsibility
Responsibility means being accountable for what we think, say, and do. Personal responsibility involves working on our own character and skill development rather than blaming others for situations and circumstances. It means choosing to design a life that honors our values and purpose.
One of my greatest loves as a kid was fishing. This love developed quickly because my family owned a little bait shop that was located near Toledo Bend Lake in Louisiana. Toledo Bend is well known for its large bass and large quantity of crappies.
Dont You Quit!
"A man who has nothing to die for is not fit to live." -Martin Luther
The True Cost Of A Lack of Motivation
And what a lack of motivation means..
As you prepare to take your first steps, could there possibly be something holding you back?
Success Secrets - Achieving Ultimate Success
I hope you're having an AWESOME week!
Words Have Power
How many times have you heard or read that words have power? Maybe it was in the context of working 'magic' or 'positive affirmations' or visualization techniques and you just dismissed it as more of that 'psychic hooha'.
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