The "Wall of Defensiveness": 7 Ways to Tear It Down

Have you ever gotten frustrated when you realize that your prospects keep stereotyping you as a "salesperson" And because of that, they dont give you the trust and openness that you deserve, and that are essential if youre going to help them solve their problems

Thats whats been happening to Michael, who calls companies to set appointments with decisionmakers. "I have a great product that Im passionate about," he told me, "but when I call prospects, they immediately start treating me as just another salesperson whos trying to sell them the same type of product that others have tried to sell to them in the past...Is there any way to stop them from pigeonholing me"

Michael is hitting what I call the "wall of defensiveness" that almost all decisionmakers these days use to protect themselves against sales calls. It tears me apart that he, like so many other salespeople, have to endure this type of personal rejection as he tries to make a living.

And none of the sales training or motivational programs hes been through had helped him to solve this frustrating and debilitating situation.

In our one-on-one sessions, Michael and I discussed 7 key strategies that can break down that wall, and hes been finding that they work for him...maybe theyll work for you, too...here they are...

1. Curb your enthusiasm. This idea always comes as a shock to anyone whos been exposed to the old "sales gurus" who insist, "The more enthusiastic you are about what you are selling, the more people will be attracted to your solution"--but, boy, are they wrong! When you come across as overly enthusiastic, especially when youre on a first call to a new prospect, you immediately trigger sales pressure that tells your prospect, "Im excited because I just know that you need what I have to offer!" But in any new situation, thats exactly what you dont know--so try cutting out your enthusiasm on initial calls. Otherwise, youre likely to hit the wall.

2. Avoid assuming that you and your prospect are a fit. You may have the "perfect prospect"--someone with the exact criteria and profile of your ideal customer. However, if your words or tone of voice say, "I know youll benefit from our service because you fit the exact profile of our customer base," youll inadvertently will set off alarms that will let your prospect associate you with the negative "salesperson" stereotype. Instead, learn to be humble, and avoid making assumptions until after your prospects trust you enough to share their true issues with you. Then the two of you can decide, in a natural evolutionary way, whether youre a match or not.

3. Dont think that you have to have all the answers or youll "lose" the sale. So many of us work ourselves into a frenzy before we actually pick up the phone to call someone. Why Were afraid that if we make a mistake or dont deliver our pitch perfectly, well be rejected. But its okay not to have all the answers. Ever see the TV show "Columbo" Was he perfect No. He was human, humble, and unassuming, and people trusted him. Its okay not to have all the answers. Needing to have all the answers is a control trip, and when youre with a prospect, youre not in control--the two of you are in a relationship. The more you internalize that realization, the more comfortable and less frenzied youll feel. And youll be surprised when your prospect appreciates you for being a just another human being.

4. Dont try to overcome objections. Overcoming objections doesnt build trust. Instead, it only associates you with the negative stereotype of a salesperson who has been trained to move the sales process forward at the prospects expense. When you hear an objection, diffuse it and re-engage the conversation on your prospects terms.

5. Learn to diffuse sales pressure. Hidden sales pressure is the root of all sales woes. Diffuse it at the beginning of the relationship, and youll never have to deal with it again. Shift your mindset and change your language so it reflects you being your most natural self. The most sophisticated sales strategies in the world wont make any difference if you dont know how to diffuse the sales pressure that prospects are only too quick to sense--and back away from--in any buyer-seller relationship.

6. View prospects as potential friends, not as sources of commissions. If you see dollar signs instead of human beings when youre with prospects, theyll sense your attitude and see those dollar signs in your eyes. Keep your conversations human by always viewing your prospects as people who have potential problems that you can solve.

7. Acknowledging the sales game diffuses the pressure. If you find yourself in a sales situation that puts your relationship with your prospect at risk--for example, a prospect promises to call you back but doesnt--call the "game." Call your prospect and say simply and gently that you really dont want the relationship to degenerate into the stereotypical cat-and-mouse sales game. Your message should always be, "Our relationship, not my commission, is my priority."

The bottom line of all this is: You can no longer rely on what you are selling to distinguish yourself, because theres just too much competition out there. Instead, you must focus on how youre selling. Thats the only thing that will make you different from everyone else.