Dissolving Conflict Through Reframing
Reframing is looking at the situation with a new set of eyes. Its asking your self if you have a clear picture of the situation and of what is happening around you.
Many people get so caught up in a situation that they take on the other persons issues as their own. When you can remain calm, take a step back, you can ask your self, am I seeing this issue clearly or can I look at it differently?
For example, ask:
Is this person really angry at me?
How do I want to be in this situation?
Quite often people will react to a situation and fly off the handle instead of respond to it. In most cases, people have stated that they regret later when they flip out instead of finding out why the other perosn was upset. When you are able to reframe, it can help you to respond to situations and command control and confidence in your own life. And that is truly what matters.
If you react to something that someone else has done or said, you get hook into the other persons stuff.
When you start to match their attitude and sling at them insult for insult, you will lose at getting what you need and any chance at helping the other person calm down and discovering what it is they really need.
Ironically, most people are not mad at the person that they are yelling at and if we yell back, it will be difficult to find out what the real issue is.
In a response, you hear what the other person is saying without interrupting. It is important not to cut them off, as that would add fuel to the fire. Most people just want to be heard and they are used to dealing with uncooperative people.
You will win them over just by remaining calm and showing them that you heard them. This is when empathy can be very empowering. You will be the one in control and staying in your own power, which is a whole lot better than being a puppet on a string at the control of anyone who gets upset around you.
All the Best!
P.S. If you like what you're reading in this newsletter, you'll love the book, "Perceptions, How to discover what you are really seeing and how it affects your belief system." It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help you overcome challenges in communicating and connecting with others. Perceptions-Understanding What you are Really Seeing.
Awaken the Leader in You: 10 Easy Steps To Develop Your Leadership Skills
"The miracle power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance, under the promptings of a brave determined spirit." - Mark Twain
Building Teams and Teamwork
A tight knit team is a group of competent individuals who care deeply about each other and are fiercely committed to their mission. They are highly motivated to combining their energy and expertise to achieve the common objective. From our observation and studies on building teams, we have found three primary conditions that have to be met in order to attain higher levels of team performance and member satisfaction. Resources and Commitment Ownership and Heart Learning These three conditions are the heart and soul of teamwork but are not blueprints. Every team is unique, and the requirements and details of its teamwork have to be worked out separately. Let's look closer at condition number two ? Ownership and Heart.
Effective Leaders are (#3) Communicative
LISTEN, WRITE, AND ARTICULATE EFFECTIVELY: Leadership positions require effective communication skills. Basic confidence in the art of information sharing is absolutely necessary for effective leadership. Although mastering all of these skills is ideal, it is not always necessary. Creative leaders can develop teams to support them in areas of weakness. One of the strengths of a leader is the capacity to recognize those communication areas in which he or she is weakest and then to supplement them. If for example, the area is listening, a leader might request a written summary for follow-up. If the area is writing, they could delegate the writing up of their ideas. No effective leader, however, can delegate the ability to articulate. Verbal communication must be an effective part of a leader's repertoire.
The Best Ways To Multiply The Extraordinary Leadership in Your Organization
Extraordinary Leaders are those who understand that in order for the organization to grow and make the maximum impact that it can, the leadership base in the organization must grow first and grow strong enough to hold the growth. If this does not happen, the organization will either not grow or will grow and then crumble because there is no solid foundation of leadership. The effort to multiply leadership must be ongoing and purposeful. Here are some ways to get your leadership base growing strong and wide!
The Four Laws Of Leadership (Part Two)
In Part One, I described the laws of motivation. In Part Two, I'll examine the laws in more detail.
Leadership and The Dirty Work
The airline, Jet Blue, has been featured in many magazines as a new company that has hard great results and success so far. A lot too has been mentioned about the challenges they face ahead and about the culture they created at the start and are working hard to foster now. One of the many things that sets Jet Blue apart is their focus on teamwork. Here's one example. They have no cleaning crews - every employee on the flight (including pilots and those not working but on the flight) cleans up the plane. This saves time and money - both things very important to any business.
Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain!
As the 'Great And Powerful Oz' once said to Dorothy, "Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain!" and as you know, appearances can be deceiving they are also one of the first things people judge others by. For instance, you recall the old saying 'Never Judge A Book By Its Cover?' well guess what ? we still do!
Father Knows Best
A good strong example of a family leader would be Joshua in the Bible. He was a true spiritual leader and a strong man of God. He was not one to let the circumstances of the outside world convince him of defeat. Because of his strong leadership and convictions, everyone looked up to him as a father figure. Everyone but him and a few others were cut short and fell in the wilderness journey because they would not obey and follow God's instructions. Even today we still fall short of who we will serve. Idols have been and still are a major downfall in our success and failures. That is why Joshua told the people to choose whom they would serve. If they chose to serve the idols that their father's served, then they should be prepared for God's wrath. But, his advice was, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Josh. 24:15
Leadership Development and Jumping Out of Airships
A German silent film melodrama depicts an airship bombing London during World War I. Lit up by searchlights and strafed by fighters, the crippled airship loses altitude as the captain frantically jettisons dispensable gear to lighten weight. Eventually, the only weight left is human. So the captain orders members of the crew overboard. A grisly scene unfolds as the airmen, one by one, without parachutes, step up to the hatch, salute the captain and the first mate, then jump to their deaths. Lightened, the airship returns safely to Germany.
What Kind of Leader Are You?
There are literally millions of words written and spoken each week on enlightened leadership yet the fact remains that low morale, high stress and job dissatisfaction continue to be three of the most serious problems facing the workplace. We seem to be so effectively socialized into top down leadership that we find it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change our autocratic ways. All this in spite of the many workshops and seminars on new leadership paradigms which are rooted in the empowerment of people.
The Leadership Vacuum
In today's fast moving, ever changing, and highly competitive world there is a vacuum of leadership. More than ever our government, businesses, religious organizations, and our educational institutions need leaders.
Three Growth Guidelines from Stephen Covey
I have been looking for answers to what it takes to create a winning corporate culture in the midst of today's confusing economic indicators. If I rely solely on history or economic indicators, I won't find the answers. Company profits are up, yet job growth is sputtering. Communication happens at breakneck speed, yet we often feel less connected to our peers than we ever did.
Leadership and Followership in a Team Setting
Many solopreneurs work in a team environment either with their client's staff, or with subcontractors. Having spent over 20 years in a teaming environment before becoming a solopreneur 13 years ago, I know that during the course of any highly functioning team effort, the leadership and followership roles flow back and forth between the members.
A Winning Choice for Leadership!
"The only way to enjoy anything in this life, is to earn it first." -Ginger Rodgers
A number of years ago we created a graphic logo based on the phrase Dream Bigger! We produced buttons and t-shirts. I've signed letters and emails with this phrase. It is more than a short inspirational phrase. It embodies a truth for all of us as individuals and carries extra importance for us as a leader.
In Leadership, The Eight Ways Of Right Action (Part 1)
The ancient Greeks had a saying: "When Aschines speaks, the people say, 'How well he speaks,' but when Demosthenes speaks, the people say, 'Let's march against Philip!'".
What Kind of Leader Are You?
You are a leader if someone is following you. This could be as simple as one person watching you and following your example and encouragement, to being a leader in your home, your community, your workplace or even your nation. Leadership can take many forms, but typically it often involves managing people- one of the most difficult of all tasks. It means coordinating and motivating the actions of others to achieve a common goal. A leader has to establish that goal, and gain the willing agreement of others to be governed by and work together towards that goal.
C4 Leadership: Taking Your Leadership (and your Life) from Good...To Explosive!
Chances are if you're interested in this post, you're looking for a few tips to take your leadership and/or your life, up a notch or two. Read on for a few things that have really helped me make my leadership more explosive after first defining what C4 is.
Effective Listening Equals Effective Leadership: Learn How!
No matter what role you play in your company, becoming a more effective listener will help you get ahead in your position. It means fewer errors, improved accuracy, and enhanced working relationships. And, listening to your customers and referral sources will definitely help you in your marketing efforts. You will solicit better information from other people whether interviewing job candidates, solving work problems, or working to make a sale.
Coaching a Leader
One of my favorite memories growing up as a child was making trips with my family to my sister's volleyball tournaments on the weekends. Those memories are filled with being a part of an exciting atmosphere, sitting in the stands and watching the action-packed games. Along with watching my sister play, I recall two other players by the names of Christy and Liz, who stood out to me because of their athletic talent on the court. Over the four years of my sister's high school career, I followed their volleyball careers as well because Christy was my sister's teammate, and Liz was a player from a rival school.
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