Humor & Entertainment Information |
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Humor & Entertainment Information
More Articles from Humor & Entertainment Information: Sonoma resident Russell Johnson pens illustrated humor book Sonoma Index-Tribune Book review: Charles Baxter's "Blood Test" lets the humor flow freely Houston Chronicle 'Lead your life with humor': Remembering Rob Raichlen Los Angeles Loyolan UNCG Professor Studies Humorâs Place in Politics The University of North Carolina at Greensboro âJust Roll with Itâ Serving up Recipes and Humor Resident News Network Some advice, humor and observations from others | Life in Ludlow Port Townsend Leader Artist Talk: Humor, Subversion, and Native Identity with Shinnecock Artist Jeremy Dennis Pomona College Funeral mourners recall Tim Johnsonâs hard work, humor, faith and devotion to family South Dakota Searchlight Parents who use humor have better relationships with their children, study finds Penn State University âBe kind to others and have a sense of humor:â Life lessons from a 101-year-old Tuskegee fighter pilot Colorado Public Radio Georgiaâs Unhealed Scars Limned With Dark Humor in New Novel Transitions Online Dry plants and dry humor Iowa Public Radio Opinion | Wake up, Mr. Seinfeld. Mean-spirited humor isnât cool anymore. The Washington Post Economic lessons with humor The Fence Post ETSU presents dark comedy âThe Moorsâ Elizabethton.com Humor & Harmony FAQ KSLA Daring to bring humor and wonder to serious subjects Nieman Storyboard â100 ClichĂ©s Move Usâ: Rumours Directors Guy Maddin, Evan Johnson & Galen Johnson on Finding Humor in a World in Crisis The Film Stage Humor, darkness, music, anarchy, inflated egos â âSaturday Nightâ has it all Olean Times Herald House of Humor reopens in âbootiqueâ-style in Redwood City San Mateo Daily Journal Corny humor, sweet message: Musical 'Shucked' launches national tour in Providence The Providence Journal Humor & Harmony Festival: From parking to line up here's all you need to know before you go Shreveport Times Opinion | Will Ferrellâs new film showcases a richer, riskier kind of humor The Washington Post Celebration of Ethel Kennedyâs life recalls her strong faith, human rights work, humor Catholic Review of Baltimore Finding humor on bus trips Evening Observer An evening of humor in US in a season of electoral rancor The Times of India My language is not a caricature The Bowdoin Orient Humor - Laughter, Emotion, Psychology Britannica Humor in advertising can cue more than laughter Fast Company Daily Cartoon: Friday, October 18th The New Yorker Think youâre funny? ChatGPT might be funnier University of Southern California Is Humor the Key to Success at Work? Thomas Insights Humor, Politics Collide: $10M Raised at 79th Annual Al Smith Dinner The Tablet Catholic Newspaper The health benefits of humor Mayo Clinic Press Nonalcoholic Ways to Unwind, Showcased by Famous Paintings The New Yorker Grin Reaper: Visceral visuals, sly humor prevent overstuffed âSmile 2â from being frowned upon Daily Herald Gatorland storms into Halloween season with haunt, humor Orlando Sentinel Opinion | Trump Is Losing the Humor War The New York Times Watch: Do apes have a sense of humor? The Wildlife Society Advice | Carolyn Hax: Why wonât the wife just humor her condescending in-laws? The Washington Post The Bugle, humor and me Park Bugle Daily Cartoon: Thursday, October 17th The New Yorker Surprising Ways Humor and Laughter Benefit Our Health Verywell Mind |
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Marines Dont Take Crap We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them. You name it, they're doing it. I have a friend who is a toilet paper salesman. God bless him. It's an honorable job and my butt and I give him a two ply thumbs up thank you butt it's not something I, personally, could ever do-do. I have a friend who told me once that the litmus test for taking a job is if you meet a girl and you're embarrassed to tell her what you do for a living then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Let me tell you about a career choice I was never embarrassed to tell girls about, the Marines. Make no mistake. The Marines are a business. We manufacture the world's finest fighting force, and distribute them worldwide to sell Democracy. If we have to, we'll kick their you know what, provide toilet paper to wipe their butts, and not even take their names because we wouldn't even know how to pronounce them. The enemy usually needs toilet paper when we get through with them because when they see the Marines land we usually scare the crap out of them. What can I say? War stinks! There's a lot of things Marines do that stink. We don't like it and complain that it's not what we signed up to do. We joined the military to see the world but all we end up seeing is bad weather and bad attitudes. So we say, "If I wanted to deal with this merde I'd have taken a summer vacation in hell or a winter vacation in France. The Germans spanked them, we had to save their butts, and now they're little ungrateful terds. I'd love to see a recruiter now. "You'll get to travel the world." Let's see, where I could have gone in the last ten years, Somalia, Afghanistan, Bosnia, and Baghdad. Wow, can you throw in a free trip to Liberia? It's hard to tell a service member that the grass is never greener on the other side because the places are young men and women go usually don't have grass but war has some positives. For instance, it educates the American people. If you asked most Americans what the capital of South Dakota was they'd say, "I don't know." If you asked them the capital of Afghanistan they'd say, "That's easy, Kabul." They also learn geometry too, hello Sunni Triangle. The only problem is in a few years they might make the mistake of trying to book a vacation to the Sunny Triangle because they heard it was, to use the parlance of our times, "The bomb." Marines actually have to go to these sewer holes. They have to live there and survive and it is no joke to them or their families but they love it. I used to get a kick out of Marines who said, "This is the hardest job in the world. You never sleep and when you do it's in the dirt; you get to go hiking, with a 100 pound rucksack on your back, and you get paid to visit areas of the world you'd never pay money to go on vacation to see, but it's the greatest job in the world. You'll love it." Make no mistake, Marines love their jobs and as you probably know, are "The Few, The Proud." Marines are prouder then game roosters and meaner then cocks. If the Marines made toilet paper it would be two ply steal plates in order to cover their butts when they use the head. Being is a Marine is a dirty job but the best part of it is that we don't take crap from anyone. Every young man and woman should do a stint. If you're interested, go down to your local recruiter and put your signature on a piece of paper, preferably one ply. Voodoo Munchies Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Some of the skeletons actually wear the jackets so they don't get cold. That may seem strange to people, but never has a skeleton complained to me... I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least. When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to the spiritual journey that would define who I was as a person. But then I looked into my mirror and realized that the person I saw in that mirror was me. So I then figured, why spend all this time finding myself when I already know where I am? 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a welding helmet: Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it's his hometown surroundings that serve as a backdrop for his writing. He's recently published three books, and thinks his blend of history and humor shine a bright spotlight on the local area and its people. Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard. Let me rephrase. She thinks she found a human bone. They were putting up a fence in their backyard. They've been digging and shoveling and leveling posts. I unloaded some boards to be a Mister-Rogers-kind-of-neighbor. And she was still talking about the human bone she'd shown me the day before. Funny Things We Dream I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now I'm up before the alarm clock most mornings, and I don't grumble, not as often as I used to anyway. I'm often anxious to see what the day will bring. Setting History Straight Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the name Artie Seymour? Probably not. But you will, you will, when the word gets around about how these two inglorious talents were by-passed, how they missed being touched by the magic wand of Fate. For contrary to popular belief, the series of light operettas commonly attributed to Gilbert and Sullivan were in effect written by the pair of nonentities named above, Artie being the melodist and Will the versifier. Dumb Luck I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor at all. My ex-husband used to tell me dumb jokes all the time and I didn't laugh, not even to be polite like everyone else would do. Yet the strange thing is that people who've read some of my life stories have found them to be hilarious. I'm not sure if that's good or bad considering those stories actually happened. The Worlds First Comedian? If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must be sincerely old. That's because he appeared around 400 B.C., and back then the videos were pretty bad. Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05 Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. Can you explain it? -- Sport Watcher The Jokes On You -- Who Should be the Butt of Your Jokes? This article was prompted by something I heard (second hand) about the performance of a local magician at a child's birthday party. Now, granted, this wasn't done by a clown, but I've seen clowns doing similar things. As one of his tricks, he has a child (a young girl approximately 9 years old) holding two handkerchiefs knotted together. He pulls her hands apart, and instead of a third handkerchief appearing (or a flag, or whatever else) he has a pair of ladies' panties appear. The magician received the reaction he wanted: the audience laughed loud and long at the discomfiture of the young girl. She, however, was on the verge of tears, having been publicly humiliated, for having done nothing more than helping on stage when asked. Cloning Advantage Super Families As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We see the need of self to extend past one's own lifetime as an innate characteristic; self-preservation has always been one of mankind's greatest drivers of motivation. World Religions in their haste to rally group support and social order amongst the masses have in fact been able to capitalize on this to a large degree, purposing the idea of eternal salvation for a promise of the individual in this life time to do as they are told and live their life in a certain way. That certain way includes among other things; not upsetting the current hierarchy of power. Human Beings obviously have questions which need to be answered such as; How did I get here, How did all this begin, what happens to me when I die and what will happen to the entirety of all I see in the end, when will it all end. World Religions can use these needs of the individual to know such things as a lever to control their psyche, by carefully answering all those questions in some sort of believable and yet un-provable way. Of course over time as more scientific light is shed on various subjects these religions must adapt their story line a bit to keep all the believers buying the storyline. Most of the most successful religions have done a good job of using vague comments on the answers so that they are able to adapt over time. American Independence ? The True Story It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two planks of wood away. The Work-from-home Fashion Primer Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits: A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. So, whattya gonna do about it? Well, if you're Amber and Terry, you're going to do NOTHING about it. Ain't nobody going to silence the Rubinman, you know what I'm sayin'? If you're NOT Amber and Terry, though (i.e. you're smart) and you want to know how to get your dog to just freakin' shut up once in a while, here's what you need to know? New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner's had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater. It appears that the New Orleans Housing marker has gone down the drain. New Orleans experienced significant growth in the past year, prices had increased; many had taken out second loans to pay off credit car debt, which helped fuel the economy there. Relatively few need their credit cards for recent shopping sprees, as they just broke in with a little help from their friends and took those few items they needed for survival. You know like a; Surround-A-Sound System, with HDTV, 64" Flat Panel Display to watch your favorite local team the Saints. |
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