Ten Tips For Setting (And Keeping) Life Changing Resolutions
It's time for that annual ritual of making (and breaking) our New Year's resolutions. There is something about the idea of being able to start over that motivates us to pause (at least briefly) and reflect on our lives as they are, as well as how we would like them to be. Yet how many times have you thought back to last year's goals and found that many or most of them were abandoned or just forgotten after a few weeks or months into the year?
Many of us have difficulty following through on our resolutions due to factors such as choosing unrealistic goals, not making them challenging enough and/or lacking the necessary motivation to stick with them. The following tips should help put you on the right course and assist you in staying committed to your most important goals for 2003.
Start with a life vision
If you don't know what you want your future to look like, how can you decide what areas of your life need to be worked on? Spend some quiet time TODAY reflecting on (and writing down) what is good, bad or incomplete. Then try to "see" your life if all of these areas were addressed and had become satisfactory to you.
Clear away clutter. Go through paperwork, files, old bills and receipts, closets, drawers and storage containers. Decide what you need and will use and either throw out or give away all the rest. Put aside some time each week for this purpose. After you have cleaned out you can think about your existing systems for management and storage and see if these need reworking or just some fine-tuning. Keep ONE calendar to record all appointments, events, etc. Write down everything- don't rely on memory.
Expand your horizons and make a commitment to learning something new.
Challenging yourself will infuse you with greater energy and sense of purpose. It will help build your self-esteem to realize you really are capable of more than you had previously believed. This new learning can also give you additional resources to assist you in your career, personal or love life.
Set challenging but realistic resolutions
Choose goals that stretch your ability muscles, yet are realistic and therefore less vulnerable to failure. Don't respond to that negative inner voice that says; "oh, I'm not capable of that". Instead, focus on what you truly desire for your life and relationships and let this be your guide.
Write down your resolutions
Write them down and stick them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your car dashboard, your desk or wherever you know will be a good place for you to see them. You can also show them to a good friend, family member, your coach or anyone who could provide support and encouragement.
Create action steps for each resolution; write them down, and keep an accounting of your progress for each.
A resolution without planned action is doomed to failure. Break each goal down into small action steps or objectives. Putting a date for completion will help ensure you follow through. Come up with an accountability system that will work for you. Make sure you check off each accomplishment as you go and be flexible and willing to make adjustments in your action steps in order to achieve your desired end results.
Take care of yourself; eat well. Exercise regularly and learn to control and eliminate unhealthy stress.
I know this is an obvious one, so why is it often ignored or overlooked when we are attempting to make important life changes? How many times have you said, "I don't have the time" to eat right, exercise, sleep adequately, etc? Not caring for yourself will guarantee failure. So, why not make this your first and most important resolution for 2003?
Work to eliminate bad habits
Including this as a New Year's resolution would put you on the road to good follow-through. Bad habits will sabotage your efforts and use up your limited resources of time, energy and focus. For each bad habit you decide to eliminate, have a good habit in mind to replace it with.
Set appropriate and healthy limits in all areas of your life
Knowing your limits and enforcing them with yourself and others is a prerequisite to a healthy life and relationship. Learn to say "no" and "enough" and be firm in your resolve that this is a good thing to do. Otherwise, you will also be undermining your resolution to take care of yourself.
Work to be the kind of person you want to be with
Bringing out the best qualities in yourself will help to ensure that you attract people of good quality into your life. You wouldn't want to compromise on the standards you have set for a potential mate. Therefore, it's important to understand that this also holds true for other people in search of relationships.
Now begin this year with the resolve to be the person you know you have the potential to be. You'll be pleased with the wonderful changes that await you!
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.
5 Simple Ways To Overcome Shyness
Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you can overcome it when you learn the right way to go about it. The problem is that you have not been exposed to accurate, proven ways to deal with shyness.
Lottery Winners Lose It All
You have heard it time and again. Lottery Winners lose it all and trust fund babies waste their parent's hard earned cash. In fact, up to 80% of the lottery winners in this country file bankruptcy within five years. Most of us say," That would never happen to me. You would have to be really dumb to lose all that money." Yet the very reason that these individuals let their money run through their fingers is the very reason that most of us are still working pay check to paycheck.
How To Put An End To Rejection
Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in relationships. Not only rejection from our partner, but also rejection from ourselves. As soon as some feel their partner is finding fault with them, they quickly begin to reject themselves. Their sense of self-worth and lovability is directly linked to how their partner feels about them. When an individual is in an abusive relationship, where rejection and fault finding is on-going, it is not unusual for them to completely lose confidence in themselves and their ability to ever love again.
Releasing the Illusion of Control
It's amazing how easy it is to convince ourselves that we're in control of everything in our lives. When it comes right down to it, what we eventually learn is that we are in control of only two things: our own thoughts, and our own actions. We can fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our spouses, children, friends, employers, etc. But are we really in control? We can plot, manipulate, connive and cajole in order to get our own way, but ultimately the other person makes their own decision. We didn't force anything to happen. We may have encouraged it, but we didn't cause it.
The Centre of Creative Powers!
Evolution is nothing but seeking with clarity, demanding clarity at every moment. Every moment clarify to yourself the greater purpose of everything you do. This will stabilize you. Now focus on what you have identified to be important. The moments lived with clarity leads to evolution.
Giving Thanks - A Universal Gift
In the USA we celebrate Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday in November every year. However, I've come to understand that there is great, POSITIVE power in having an "attitude of gratitude" all year long, that can create measurable differences in your life.
The Cliché of Balance
The world we are living in is changing at a fast pace. Never before in the history of mankind that change was so enormous and rapid. This roller coaster ride of change is affecting every aspect of our lives. From relationship to work, from the pursuit of happiness to the quest for spirituality. Some authors have called it a Future Shock, others have called it Mega Trends, but whatever the tag you give, it is there.
Putting Yourself on the Road to Success
What separates successful people from unsuccessful people, achievers from non-achievers, winners from losers? Are people born that way or do they develop habits as they grow older which determine their stations in life?
The End Of The Road
Last week I was driving along one of the major highways around Toronto. I had some good music playing on my stereo and the weather was wonderful.
Teach Me Who You Are
We all have a privately held belief system that defines who we think we are. This belief system is composed of ideas that we have accumulated over time that we think describe us accurately.
Im Thinking...But Im not Growing Rich!
So you've read "Think and Grow Rich", and you've got an intellectual understanding that you "become what you think about". You have a list of affirmations about wealth, and you recite them every day.
Letting Go Of Wanting Your Own Approval
Ever had a time in your life when those closest to you disapproved of your behavior? It is very uncomfortable is it not? In a moment, peace of mind can vanish in a puff of smoke and you crave approval more than anything else. This time in the wilderness seems to last forever and when it is finally over the newly earned approval of your peers feels just great.
Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take
I was accused recently of being unfocused. This lady challenged me to decide whether I was a coach, a writer, or a TV personality. She couldn't imagine that one person could do all of these well and so she told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was just probably being average at all of them.
Basic Intuitive Timing for Business and Life
"There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries." [William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar]
Living a Values-Based Life
What is a values-based life? A values-based life is a self-capable life free of doubt or fear; a life that allows you to take risks, fulfill dreams, capture goals and live to your fullest capacity. Sound wonderful? It certainly is. Too good to be true? Not at all. When you live a life according to your personal values all of these awesome options are possible for you. However, there is some work involved that is an absolute necessity before any of those amazing things can happen for you. That pre-work involves identifying and accepting your values as the guiding principles in your life. Only when you have chosen this self-responsible attitude are you able to live a values-based life.
Are You Thinking About What Youre Thinking About
Do you realize that your belief system is ultimately what will determine whether you live a successful life or not?
Everyday People Are Accomplishing Their Dreams - Now Its Your Turn!
If you can do anything in this time in your life what would you do?
Hot Date Tonight?
Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman, mom of four, I decided it's time to play the field. After all, who wants to grow old single and alone? So, I consulted a few friends, an online dating service, and several single women I knew ? but ultimately most of them are "satisfied with single". I decided to go straight to the source, the most interesting single person I know, who has interesting, challenging, and adventurous dates, knowing full well any advice I got would be direct, to the point, and daringly attractive to the kind of men I'm interested in: adventurous, intelligent, professionals, with a family oriented bent.
The Concept of Beauty
The Monkey And The Spreadsheet
When the mind was fidgety, like a monkey
|home | site map|